Situation Normal

I read a lot of relationship blogs because it is hard work to maintain a strong healthy marriage, especially when the spouses live apart. My dad has worked on contracts all over the United States and in several foreign countries. As a child, I never gave it much thought that my dad lived in Detroit or Cleveland, while we lived in Tampa because he would come home as much as possible and act like a typical father. It was not an ideal situation but it was one necessitated by economics. Fast forward a few decades and I find myself in a similar situation. We moved to Indiana for my career. This was an opportunity I could not pass up. And four and a half years later, I have absolutely no regrets about the move except for the fact hubby found an amazing job 80 miles from here. Hubby has a set schedule so he can come home every weekend and visit. We talk everyday via the phone or e-mail. And we strive to maintain a very honest dialog since are communications are limited.

When we lived together in Tampa, we had such varying schedules there were some days I only saw him for an hour, so I told myself this situation was liveable. And we have made it work though it is hard and there are times we discuss are options (not divorce, but whether we should move, etc.). The answer always comes back to the fact we moved here for my career and if I leave, well, I'll need a new career because this is it for me. So though this is not the ideal situation, we have remained happily married through the distance.

So imagine my surprise when reading a blog entry concerning a phenomena called, LAT (couples who Live Apart Together). According to a Census Bureau report, 3.8 million married couples are living apart in the United States. The majority of these situations are due to career decisions, but some individuals live separately because they believe it helps their marriage. Now I'm not part of the latter group. If hubby could get a job in town and live with me, I would prefer it. But it was fascinating to discover that we aren't a rare situation, but instead are one of millions. See, we are a typical American married couple!