Panicky Moment

Hubby and I were discussing my speaking engagement calendar, in which I had stated at the end of last year that 2012 would be a slow year. Of course, that was before I agreed to be on the FGS 2013 Programming Committee along with providing these sessions in the next six months. Just to give you an idea of what my schedule looks like:

• 2/10   ACPL Staff Day presenting "Ancestry.com - Your Online Genealogy Resource"
• 3/21   Moderating for the DAR March Madness discussion "It Was Everyone's War"  
• 3/22   at March Madness, "Shadowed Roots: Antebellum Era Records for African-American Research" 
• 4/28   at the  IGS Conference, "Becoming Expert at Using Ancestry"
• 6/8-6/10 Southern California Genealogy Jamboree in Burbank, California
• "Think Like a Genalogy Librarian"
• "Before Crossing the Ocean: American Records of Our Immigrant Ancestors"
• "Shadowed Roots: Antebellum Era Records for African-American Research"
• 6/23   ACPL presenting "How to Use the Genealogy Center: Basics"
• July ? Organizing Your Genealogy Week, "Digital Organization: The No Paper Approach to Genealogy"
• 7/28   ACPL presenting, "Ancestry: The Beginner’s Way to Search"

Plus I'm trying to write up my classes for the 2013 Volusia/ Flagler Genealogical Seminar in Florida, where I'm the headline presenter.


I was trying to explain to hubby why this was becoming a bit overwhelming. I speak for the love of it. I love being in front of a crowd, sharing a topic, and instructing them on something new. It is truly enjoyable for me. I've taken on more speaking engagements because I enjoy it, but also to keep my organization in the forefront of people's minds. I plan to be at my current employer for a while, hence would like to have a collection to represent in the coming years, so I'm willing to go out and be a face for our organization. I am not a glory hound or ego maniac. I don't present for personal glory, but for other reasons.

That being said, I got a bit panicky this weekend. I told hubby about how I've gotten used to the fact that when I attended my first national conference almost a decade ago, I was in awe of Curt, who has since become my boss, and Tony, who I've shared drinks with and have spoken opposite of at local events. But it really hit me this weekend that I was in competition with the same speakers I saw a decade ago for some of the recent engagements I've accepted. So the panic set in. Am I to the level of these people I once sat in awe of or these people who have written books that I deem the required reference material for any genealogist? Am I giving people their money's worth? It was a pretty terrifying thought.

I know my gals are reading this, shaking their heads, thinking of the many times I have lectured them on their knowledge and speaking ability. You needn't worry. I gave myself the same lecture and am ready to take it all on, but the next time I have one of these attacks, remind me of my worth! Because I am ready! Though I have to admit a sense of amazement at the opportunities before me.