My Friend, John

I was informed this weekend that a long time friend of mine, John, passed away January 26. John and I had been friends for too many years to count. I can't describe my love and memories for him. They are so overwhelming. At this time, I feel like my heart is breaking and I can inadequately describe my feelings.

John and I knew each other from our days prior to working at an unnamed bookstore together. Shockingly to some people, he actually was an acquaintance with my ex when I met him. I remember when he received the job offer after graduation. I remember our long talks when both of us ended relationships. I remember sitting on the benches along Bayshore with my heart breaking. I remember celebrating Day of the Dead. I remember the various bars and clubs that John introduced me to. I remember when he bought his house and started refurbishing it. I remember him making me laugh at the lowest point in my life. John was the only friend who stuck by me during my divorce. I never knew anyone could get that low, but he was there the whole time lending me a shoulder, holding my hand, and helping put the pieces back together. You can say he had a great influence on the new me (the me everyone knows now).

Over the years, John and I moved in different directions in our lives, but we still kept in touch periodically. I am saddened that no one knew to contact me when he passed. A friend of his who used to work with James contacted us this weekend.

John was my friend and support in my life. He was always brutally honest with me which I respected. He told me once that a guy I was dating was not good for me and he was right. The next time I started dating a guy, I made him have lunch with John. In my mind if John didn't approve, there was something wrong with the guy. John really liked the next guy who is now my current husband.

I love the pic of John with the drinks. James will tell you John introduced him to martini bars. John and I used to hook up weekly to talk at a local martini bar in Hyde Park. This is where he met James for the first time. Since then James has chosen martinis as his drink. After our wedding, our guests informed us that John kept running to the bar to order drinks for people. John, the Drink Man.

People always ask me how I made the change in careers from HR to librarian. I always talk about my friend who informed me that I was basically doing the same job of a librarian but with stress and long hours. It got me thinking and after many discussions on how I could do the work, I applied for library school. John was the friend who convinced me to become a librarian. When I first met him, a lifetime ago, he was working on his MLS.

I have so many memories of him, many of them are hilarious and some are poignant. He was a true friend with a big heart. I truly will miss him and love him all my days for the light and future that he gave me. I hope I was half the friend to him that he was to me. Love you John.