The Reviews are In

I received reviews of my latest manuscript this past month, but before I share, I have to thank my reviewers profusely. Not only did these gals take the time to read over my work, but they truly critiqued it like pros. I have notes written all over the print versions plus five pages of recommendations. They truly worked on these reviews, which I greatly appreciate.

The story I gave them to review was my experiment into a new subgenre, a paranormal romance where the characters come from other realms. Not only was it a new topic, but I wrote it in first person without plotting or outlining it. I created my character and setting notes as I wrote the story.

As I said there were pages of notes, so I'll only post a few comments.

- "Let me begin by saying, I'm excited. This story has tremendous possibilities and there were parts of it that had me riveted to what was going on. And I think with some 'cleaning' up you should send this one off ... You did a good job and I'm looking forward to seeing an entire series. I think you have created a good idea that just needs to have a few tweaks. This should be the one that you ship off."

These were amazing words from someone who maintains a popular book review site.

- "Your changing from one scene to the other was pretty smooth."

Loved hearing this since there are flashbacks and dream sequences throughout the story. It does not flow in a straight line.

"As I said before, the story really kept my interest and the pacing was very good. Just enough information was revealed to keep me going without telling the whole story at once."

I had worried about not revealing enough and holding back.

- "I wanted more of your other world ... and that means you created a fascinating place."

- "When do I get book two?"

Not only did I enjoy the positive commentary, but was pleased with their critiques and recommendations, which included a misunderstanding of the ending scene, which needs to be rewritten; more hints leading to the big reveal; more of the other realm; and flesh out the two secondary villains.

Then there were the discrepancies between my reviewers, who each read different types of subgenres. One reviewer said, "The intimate scenes were hot and well written," while another stated, "I think there may be too much sex, unless you are going to send to an Erotica publisher ..." I asked my reviewer who regularly reads paranormal for her opinion and she said it was the right amount of sex. Two of my reviewers thought I should tone down some fight scenes, but another thought they were required to show how volatile the other beings behaved.

Right now, I plan to set this story aside for a month and think on it. I plan to jump on some of these recommendations in February, but I need to think over the others. For January, I plan to start cleaning up the first half of my Nano 2010 project, which is book two of this story. I hope that by working on the next book and paying attention to the direction it is heading, I will know what to fix in book one.

So my many thanks and love to my reviewers for your support and guidance through this harrowing experience. I plan to make the necessary changes, ask for your reviews again, so I can send this story to several agencies and begin the next phase of this adventure.

Our Four Day Weekend

Hubby and I had a relaxing four day weekend. No drama, no shopping, no other people, just the two of us lounging around in our pjs all weekend. It was wonderful! We played several hours of gin rummy, which always frustrates me. Hubby always begins our game by saying, I don't remember how to play, then proceeds to stomp all over me. And since we're both so competitive, it can become quite vocal during our games. As you can see, Cleo got involved and played as well.

We had many fabulous gifts, but since I don't want my house robbed, I won't list them here. Hubby topped himself again though in purchasing me a fitted Gator jersey. I have wanted one for years, but they always look bulky on me. This one was sized perfectly! Hubby has a very focused diet through the year, but shrugs it off for the holidays. Every Christmas morning, he makes cinnamon rolls. Hubby has a whip cream addiction as you can see from his serving. We truly did relax this weekend and it was wonderful. The only downside is the realization that we could have many more days like this if he lived in town. It was very hard to say goodbye to him this morning, but he'll be back in a few days for New Years!

Dear Moms of the World

Dear Moms of the World!

Please do not start divvying up your personal items with your adult children when they visit. This can be quite startling and upsetting for your children. Please do not pull out serving dishes from our childhood, holiday candles and displays, the family nativity set, family glassware, childhood bells, or your milk glass collection and say, take what you want. It is more upsetting when you grab a plastic tub and start wrapping up the items to send them and your child on their way.

First off, the adult child fears something is wrong with you, that maybe you received a horrible medical diagnosis. Second, those childhood memories are supposed to remain in your home until well ... it is no longer your home. If you were moving into a smaller house or retirement condo, it would be more understandable, but not when you are remaining in our childhood home. Third, it can be very emotional to recall how much these items mean to you and we question why you are parting with them. Fourth, if your adult child does not have children, the need to share the wonderful memories of these items can remind them that they may not have anyone to pass this heritage on to.

So please do not give away any more of your items. It will help your child's heart.

Sincerely,
A Child of the World

P.S. At the end of our trip to Florida, my mother did this to me. I was in hysterics going through her things. I did claim some amazing items like the set of blue sherbert glasses that my mom's cousin made. Mom pulled them down, telling me about him making the glass and she mentioned Aunt Minnie. Well, I recalled driving one winter in the snow to visit Aunt Minnie Beatrice, who had been my mother's sole remaining extended family member. I also started discussing things I had discovered about Aunt Minnie in my genealogy, which made mom realize, I wanted the glasses. Now that I know the history of the glasses, I feel bad that I broke one of them playing as a child, but they made wonderful music at the time. The image is of the milk glass I accepted. I can remember the numerous times we stopped at glass shops in the Appalachians so mom could watch people make glass or so she could purchase more for her collection.

Our Story

I read a lot of relationship advice blogs because hey! it is hard work to keep a marriage going and any advice helps. Recently, many of these blog authors have been posting stories of how they met their significant other, so I thought I would share hubby and my comedy of errors which led to our marriage.

James and I met in library school during a rather confusing time in my life. I had decided to focus all my energy on graduate school and the beginning stages of my career. Men served their purpose as friends and fun dates, but I was determined not to have a relationship since it would be a detriment to my career plans.

James first impression of me was not a good one. If you have ever seen me in a rant, you understand that no man would want to date someone who gets that riled up. If you have never had the joy, this image gives you an idea. (No, I was not a bridezilla. This pic is after our room had been changed four times, including an hour before the wedding, no electricity, and this is the moment I found out the cake was missing.) So, James didn't think much of me at the time, which was fine since I thought he was a perfect fit for my male friend, Aaron. Yep, you read that right, I was trying to set James up with another guy. Eventually, I learned James dated women, so Aaron and I enjoyed the eye candy James provided.

After a week of Aaron nagging me that James was a good guy and I should give him a chance, I finally asked James to have a drink after class. James and I closed the bar down because we were having such a fun and engrossing conversation. James and I had many more moments of miscommunication, including our first kiss, when he asked if he could kiss me. I told him to get out because I was shocked that he asked. He thought I meant get out of the car, so he did. This was the moment I realized this guy was not a fling. The first time I tried to express my love for him, I couldn't get the words out. James finally took pity on me and said, I love you too.

And the funniest time we had a breakdown in communication was Memorial Day weekend, four months after we began dating. I was sending out resumes and thought James and I should have the talk about what would happen to our relationship since our careers would take us in different directions. I was on a roll, explaining to James that should we end up in the same city, we could continue dating, but otherwise, I wasn't interested in a long distance relationship. I also told him that we should slow down, since we didn't know where we would end up and I had no intention of letting a guy get in the way of my career plans. In the middle of my diatribe, James tossed in the fact, he planned to spend the rest of his life with me and wanted to marry me. I ignored his comments and continued until it hit me what he had said. Yes folks, this was my romantic proposal, no ring, no bended knee, just a guy sitting in a coffee shop, trying to convince his girlfriend not to end their relationship.

Honestly, I didn't believe him at first. It required several hand-delivered bridal magazines for me to believe he was serious. The agreement we came to involving our careers was whoever received the first job offer that was acceptable to both of us, that was where we would move. We didn't realize at the time this would create the dynamic that would permeate our marriage. Because of my career, James has moved with me to three different cities and we now maintain a long distance marriage because of that decision. As for our engagement, I didn't receive my ring until seven months after the proposal. Many people began to question if James would ever buy me a ring or if we were really getting married. I used to explain that the wedding was on since James had paid for the wedding.

So there you have it! The crazy roller coaster mayhem that led to what will be my nine year marriage in February and ten year relationship with James in January, though, knowing us, does this story surprise anyone?

Honesty is the Best Policy

Honesty is the best policy, right? In the past six months, I have been confronted with several situations where I have been advised not to express my concerns or true opinions in fear of hurting the other person. In each situation, I have gone forward and expressed my opinion and for the most part, it has been well received. And this past week, it was not, which had lead to a huge uproar. So is being honest the best thing to do?

I admit to being a very stubborn, judgmental, and sometimes overly critical person, but I view things in my own way, which has been reinforced through the years. After spending what felt like a lifetime with an individual who outright lied, lied by omission, and told white lies to spare my feelings, I learned how painful it was to learn to trust. When all you heard were lies for years, the truth sounds the same, unless it's brutal. During my divorce, I discovered one of the major loves of my life, my best friend, John.

I can honestly say, I would not have survived the dissolution of my marriage or discovered who I was without him. John had very strong and vocal opinions and he freely stated them to me while I went through my transition. After finding my way through the emotional and psychological turmoil that had mired me for so long, I created a new persona and moved on with my life, only to have it all come to a grinding halt by the reappearance of my ex, who I allowed back in my life.

John informed me that he could not support my decision. Furthermore, he did not want to hear about my relationship with my ex. He placed rules on our friendship. He also said that not if, but when my ex ripped my heart out and tried to destroy me again, John would be waiting to help me recognize the person I had become. I felt he was harsh and questioned his rules, but we plowed through as friends. And he was right. The moment my ex pulled the same b.s. on me, John was the first to point out that my ego had been hurt, but that I was a stronger woman and hadn't allowed the previous nature of our relationship to develop.

Through the years, I have mimicked John's behavior. I am loving and caring in my relationships, yet I expect the same. And if I disagree with something a friend does, I comment on it. In the end, it is healthier for the friendship, rather than letting animosity build. John had been right about my ex and many other things. He supported me through the good and the bad, but he expressed his fear, concern, and love for me, rather than coddle me in the hopes I'd make a better decision.

Unfortunately, I took a similar stance with John a few years ago over one of his decisions and he died before we could rectify our strained friendship. I know he was proud of me for holding to my beliefs and he knew I loved him since we still exchanged many emails and cards. I honor him every day with how I handle my friendships and continue living my life the way he taught me. In the end, I hope my friends and loved ones, understand the only reason I am harsh with my opinions is because I truly love and care for them and want to protect them.

Pics of Florida

Family Poker Game

James and S.

Gals at Gators

Me and N at Gators

Thanksgiving in Florida

Though you can't tell from this photo, the trip to Florida consisted of a lot of DRAMA (this is said in a high pitched sing song voice). I can't even begin to discuss what all happened because I still get worked up at the thought of all the drama. Needless to say, when you combine a group of people who are stubborn, judgmental, selfish, and in denial, it leads to a huge mess, especially as one person was the driving force behind it all. My personality traits are listed here as well. Even leading up to this photo, someone was still causing drama, though we can deny it for the sake of the camera.

I do have some fond memories of the trip. I cooked Thanksgiving with my sister and mom, which is a first. I played cards with my nieces, including a fun game of poker. Mom, my sibs, hubby, and I taught the girls how to play. I had an interesting conversation with my brother which helped me see him in a different light, though we have far to go. I hung out at Gators with my gals and niece, N. It was the first time I was able to spend quality time with her and sharing something unique for the two of us. Having the younger niece, C, run up to hug me and when I asked if she knew who I was, she exclaimed, Issa. Watching football with dad, as we always do. Hanging out with the in-laws, who love to feed us and remind us that hubby does have family. Seeing my BF, Michelle, who actually trusted me to meet the boyfriend. She'll be shocked to hear me say, he was personable and good looking. These were precious moments for me, but I seriously struggle with getting passed the drama.

Stay Home or Go to Work

If someone came into work sick, I would be the first person to tell them to go home and recuperate. Yet I’m the employee who pushes her health to the limit until a full-on collapse occurs. This past week, I have been miserably sick, but I just returned from vacation and we all know that looks bad, so I made a gallant effort to go to work. I kept insisting to Miss Delia that changes had to be made to our website, so I would come in. She proceeded to tell our boss, who said the changes could wait. Though still sick, I came in for my weekend shift because a former employer of mine once told me, someone better be dead for you not to show up for your weekend schedule. My current boss recommended I use some of my accumulated sick hours and go home.

You might question why a reasonable person would continue to work after being told to take care of themselves. There is a reason behind my madness. I used to believe in the mantra of don’t spread your germs or your health comes first then I had the boss from hell who beat those sentiments out of me.

Years ago, I suffered a horrific infection that led to two emergency room visits in the two weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. I had made the effort of trying to come into work, but nearly passed out and was sent to a clinic. I was the good employee who called repeatedly to inform her employer the latest status, including a call from the ER. I returned to work with five doctor’s notes. I should have been protected from any ramifications, said my former HR voice. Imagine my shock when my boss essentially told me I was one step shy from being fired. She had plenty more to say, including giving me a horrible six month review, where I was marked marginal for interpersonal relations, teamwork, and job performance, since my unsatisfactory attendance affected everything. I complained up the food chain, all the way to the county HR and was told FL was an “at will” state and I could be let go for being a bad fit.

A year later, I was still working for the same employer, but under a new supervisor, when I was taken to the hospital for possible appendicitis, which led to a ruptured and infected vein in my arm, plus the i.v. solution used for abdomen ct-scans had been injected into my muscles causing a different infection. I called in, not because I had been in the hospital, but to obtain treatment for the red line infection that ran from wrist to elbow. Numerous injections later, I returned to work, icing and heating my infected arm while on the desk. My former supervisor had the nerve to comment to my new supervisor that I should be documented for calling out the one day. I couldn't believe it as I sat at the desk, obviously in pain dealing with something that could have turned life threatening if not addressed.

I know I don't work under those same conditions any longer, but they have left their mark on me, so it does take a lot for me to overcome my fear and call in sick to work.

Nano No More

So I've been a bit delinquent on the blog, what with the trip to Florida and getting horrifically sick. I plan to write about my trip, but haven't had the inclination to upload my pics. Truly, I have felt that crappy. Another thing that my ailment affected was NanoWrimo. I ended the month at a little more than 40,000 words. I would have finished if this stupid cold hadn't gripped me. Either way, I have to thank the gals in the writing group, who helped me stay on track. Writing weekly inspirational emails to them helped me focus when my life felt a bit chaotic.

You might ask where does this leave my writing? I'm still waiting for the reviews on the current manuscript, but this hasn't stopped me from continuing to work on my Nano project because the story wants to be told. While working on my beloved manuscript, this other idea (Nano project) popped in my head and I was forced to outline it, so I wouldn't forget the critical details I had in mind. Though I failed at Nano, I am now at more than 56,000 words on the 2011 Nano project, so I plan to continue working on it, while the ideas keep flowing.

As for my beloved manuscript, I'll wait for the reviews and eventually return to my labor of love. My Nano project in 2010 was portions of book 2 and book 3 of the continuing saga of my completed manuscript, so I have the foundations when I'm ready to continue that project. The manuscript idea was book 1 would be about discovery, book 2 would focus on acceptance, and book 3 would question survival. As for the Nano project 2011, it is outlined to be 3 stories as well, yet they are all focused on the same character arc. I hoped to show the evolution of a person discovering their identity.

Either way, it appears I have a busy writing year ahead of me. I thought on December 1st that I would take a break from writing and regroup, but found myself wanting to work on the story. And who am I to deny myself when I'm enjoying it so much.