Please do not start divvying up your personal items with your adult children when they visit. This can be quite startling and upsetting for your children. Please do not pull out serving dishes from our childhood, holiday candles and displays, the family nativity set, family glassware, childhood bells, or your milk glass collection and say, take what you want. It is more upsetting when you grab a plastic tub and start wrapping up the items to send them and your child on their way.
First off, the adult child fears something is wrong with you, that maybe you received a horrible medical diagnosis. Second, those childhood memories are supposed to remain in your home until well ... it is no longer your home. If you were moving into a smaller house or retirement condo, it would be more understandable, but not when you are remaining in our childhood home. Third, it can be very emotional to recall how much these items mean to you and we question why you are parting with them. Fourth, if your adult child does not have children, the need to share the wonderful memories of these items can remind them that they may not have anyone to pass this heritage on to.
So please do not give away any more of your items. It will help your child's heart.
Sincerely,
A Child of the World
P.S. At the end of our trip to Florida, my mother did this to me. I was in hysterics going through her things. I did claim some amazing items like the set of blue sherbert glasses that my mom's cousin made. Mom pulled them down, telling me about him making the glass and she mentioned Aunt Minnie. Well, I recalled driving one winter in the snow to visit Aunt Minnie Beatrice, who had been my mother's sole remaining extended family member. I also started discussing things I had discovered about Aunt Minnie in my genealogy, which made mom realize, I wanted the glasses. Now that I know the history of the glasses, I feel bad that I broke one of them playing as a child, but they made wonderful music at the time. The image is of the milk glass I accepted. I can remember the numerous times we stopped at glass shops in the Appalachians so mom could watch people make glass or so she could purchase more for her collection.
1 comment:
Great story about Aunt Minnie, but your mom is worried about her heaalth. This is her way of coping, making sure that you know how much she loves you, maaking sure the things she prizes goes to someone who will protect and value them. remember that you can pass items along to your nieces, or perhaps some close, much younger friend at some point many years away. Family can be more than blood. Anyway, your mom also fears leaving you "alone" if something happens to her (yes, you have others, but moms feel that way, and wives, too). It's hard on you, yes, but it's hard on her, too.
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