Accentuate the Positives

Major cuteness

Things have not been easy the past few weeks, but I refuse to dwell on the negatives. Here is another round of things that made me smile this past week.

Erin sent me this pic and note. I am grateful for everyday she allows me to be in I & E's lives. I love these kids.

This past week was a true test of unconditional love with my gals. Mich forgave me for a massive screw-up. You know this is as important to me as anything else in my life. Becky and Erin were wonderfully supportive after my dreaded words of "you know I'm lying every time I say ..." When your gals can calmly say, "we know," then hear you out, things look brighter.

It was volunteer appreciation week. The fabulous Kay and I were tasked with distributing the gifts and expressing our thanks to the volunteers. DW being his typical flirty self invited me to the lake to help build his new deck. I'll probably give him a heart attack if I ever accept one of his offers. JP asked me to do him a favor; stop and say hello when flying by his workstation. He misses our chats. It was very sweet. And according to MG, several people at last week's conference remarked on how great I looked, especially the hair.

Cleo's stitch removal went as expected. They took her in the back while I waited, listening to her caterwauling. When they brought her back out, I was told she was such a sweet girl. They apparently don't realize the walls aren't soundproofed.

The notice was in the paper which lead to a conversation among my lunch buddies though I was not there but the retelling made me smile. Kevin was questioning Delia on the why's, when Peggy chimed in, "he asked her to quit her job." "Oh!"

I managed to have lunch with Peggy this week. Yay!

Knowing I was nervous about participating in my first twitter chat, especially since I was representing a group and have never used twitter, Kris checked the session to see how I was doing.

Thanks to Mike for providing me with very detailed specs based off of my specific needs in a computer. Now if only I can figure out how to use the damn thing. I also owe him a drink in OH for his hours of research.

Apparently Shane closely monitors his friends feeds for pics from his performance because he liked our pic from the other weekend. It's nice to know someone was paying attention.

And two people I respect professionally had positive comments about my first foray into the big leagues.

There were so many other things but these are the ones that are still resonating.

Shapes & Sizes

I'm honestly comfortable in my own skin. Like most people, there are things I would love to change about my appearance, but overall, I'm pretty satisfied. Are there areas that should be more toned or weight to lose? Sure but there are only so many hours in the day and I love food. And I know those of you who call me skinny-mini are grinding your teeth, but give me a moment.

Mich loves shopping and she seems to enjoy telling me what colors to wear, what accessories match, and what styles are most flattering. I would never wear bold pinks, straight line skirts, heels, or blue polish if it wasn't for her. Yes Mich, I started wearing the Birchbox polish and it was Clinique bonus last week and I went with the greens. Who knew? I know, you did. Mich has always encouraged me to go bold.

Someone recently told me that following her divorce, she threw out all her cotton bras and panties and bought only satin and lace. I'm way too practical for that but I have recently bought some items at Victoria's Secret because what gal doesn't want to feel sexy! 

The problem I've run into, which is a problem I have with shopping in general, is most clothing doesn't fit correctly or the store lacks my size. My body shape can best be described as an exaggerated pear. I am long and thin at the top. My waist varies due to issues with my vitamin absorption, but is tiny in comparison to the curviness of my hips and thighs. Why do I wear skirts and not dresses or pants? Everything I buy has to be adjusted. To fit my hips and thighs, the waist or top gapes. It's very frustrating!

Not that I'm going to reveal my bra size, but you'd be surprised. Victoria's Secret typically only carries one item in the store in my size, otherwise everything else has to be ordered online. And if purchasing a nightie or combo outfit, let the games begin. According to their standards, women are stacked at the top and tiny from the waist down and I'm the exact opposite.

To make a long, long, long story short, I had to exchange something that was ordered because the original item didn't fit. I was annoyed with the Glenbrook people so I went to Jefferson Pointe. Ladies, if you are seeking expert advice on lingerie or an ego boost, visit Zach at the JP store. Nothing makes a gal feel good then having a young handsome man discuss your curves, make suggestions, and discuss what turns a man on. Whoever hired him was brilliant!

He asked me why I selected the item I was returning, what about it made me feel sexy, and why the item wasn't working for me. Why wasn't it working? Apparently to fit very tightly around my hips though it was supposed to flow, it was two sizes too large in the top. 

Did you know that if your size isn't available, then you can possibly substitute with a sister size? Smaller band, larger cup. The things you learn. Unfortunately, as I had to explain to Zach after my failed attempt at what would have been seductive perfection, the problem with a smaller band is it's tight, which maybe I could live with, but it also pushes more than just the cleavage up, which I won't live with. Seriously, this was a straight-shooter conversation. I tried on some other items in the vain hope, but nothing worked. When you wear a petite on top and much larger on the bottom, even separates don't work well.

Seriously the dude deserves a raise! As I gave up, there was a knock on the dressing room door and I was handed this outfit that I would never have selected. Did I mention a raise? It had all the elements I had mentioned earlier plus the one that was inferred, but never clearly stated, I like my comfort. It was a Mich moment, I could hear her commentary though this was one of those rare shopping expeditions when I did not send her a pic to ask her advice. Yes, if I'm unsure of something, I send a selfie and ask Mich. Don't make fun because I recall other's indecision leading to the extra shoes in my hotel room and someone driving to my house in a dress with the tag still attached. I knew what Mich would say. It was so not me, yet it was perfect for me. It looked sexy and made me feel sexy which was the whole point of this exercise.

As you can see, it takes all shapes and sizes. In the end, we all have similar issues when shopping and the same insecurities when standing in the dressing room. Out of curiosity, would any of you throw out your cottons and replace them with all satin and lace? Do you experiment with trying new things? And do you get tired of what passes for acceptable measurements? Just a FYI ... according to some store labels, I'm an XL. I refuse to shop at these places. Why can't women's clothing be sized in the same manner as men's, i.e. using our measurements? It would lead to a more precise fit.

A Lesson in Seduction

GNO

Warning: This one might be shocking!

My how things have changed in the past decade. Not that I'm dating as of yet, but after some things that have caught my attention the past few weeks, I may consider never dating.

I am definitely not the definition of a prude but the world seems to have dramatically changed in what is acceptable public behavior. I will be perfectly honest here. In the past, I have been asked to participate in sexual activities such as bondage, public sex, toys, pics, videos, voyeurism both ways, a variety of threesomes (F/F/M, M/F/M, M/M/F), and much more but that's nothing in comparison to the education I have received recently. It's made me rethink ever vocalizing things I find appealing, such as the following samples.

A man who knows what he wants is attractive. Maybe? A friend was reading details off of a guy's online profile and I didn't know something he mentioned as a sexual preference. Holy shit! I shouldn't have asked. Another one used some interesting terms to describe his S&M lifestyle. 

I have always found a man who can be upfront and honest about his desires sexy. Unless ... Within the first few minutes of a coffee date, a woman should not be asked if she'll ... in polite terms, perform a proctol massage. Thanks for sharing that story, I'm seriously rethinking coffee dates as a safe venue.

I want a man to grab me passionately and take control. Huh! Or so the fantasy went. Definitely not when we've never spoken to each other or upon first acquaintance. This resulted in me shoving a guy and slamming my arms out to block him.

Courtesy of TOA page

Then there was our GNO to see TOA this weekend. Before I get started I chose this pic because it featured Shane and Troy, two of my favorite gals favorite guys. I won't say anything else except the bad boy and sweetheart, gals! Most of my "men behaving badly" posts have been due to someone misbehaving at one of their performances. 

Now I know, I've danced provacotively in cages, on catwalks and bartops, rotating dance floors, and have no issue with some sexual stimulation on the dance floor. What I don't understand is the simulated sex acts and quite often with multiple partners. How is this sexy?

And here's the real lesson after the things I witnessed this weekend ... if all the guy is capable of doing is thrusting on the dance floor, then run away gals! Because that is all he'll know how to do in the bedroom or wherever. Dancing should be seductive, an opportunity for teasing touches, illicit brushing of bodies, which can lead to more or nothing. But what currently passes for temptation makes me want to laugh. Seriously, if that's all you have to offer, I can get thrusting from well ... anywhere. They sell toys for that, you know!

All I can say is it's a real jungle out there, fascinating and terrifying at the same time. 

[Please keep in mind that this is a commentary. I can see someone misinterpreting what I've written.]