Accentuate the Positives

Major cuteness

Things have not been easy the past few weeks, but I refuse to dwell on the negatives. Here is another round of things that made me smile this past week.

Erin sent me this pic and note. I am grateful for everyday she allows me to be in I & E's lives. I love these kids.

This past week was a true test of unconditional love with my gals. Mich forgave me for a massive screw-up. You know this is as important to me as anything else in my life. Becky and Erin were wonderfully supportive after my dreaded words of "you know I'm lying every time I say ..." When your gals can calmly say, "we know," then hear you out, things look brighter.

It was volunteer appreciation week. The fabulous Kay and I were tasked with distributing the gifts and expressing our thanks to the volunteers. DW being his typical flirty self invited me to the lake to help build his new deck. I'll probably give him a heart attack if I ever accept one of his offers. JP asked me to do him a favor; stop and say hello when flying by his workstation. He misses our chats. It was very sweet. And according to MG, several people at last week's conference remarked on how great I looked, especially the hair.

Cleo's stitch removal went as expected. They took her in the back while I waited, listening to her caterwauling. When they brought her back out, I was told she was such a sweet girl. They apparently don't realize the walls aren't soundproofed.

The notice was in the paper which lead to a conversation among my lunch buddies though I was not there but the retelling made me smile. Kevin was questioning Delia on the why's, when Peggy chimed in, "he asked her to quit her job." "Oh!"

I managed to have lunch with Peggy this week. Yay!

Knowing I was nervous about participating in my first twitter chat, especially since I was representing a group and have never used twitter, Kris checked the session to see how I was doing.

Thanks to Mike for providing me with very detailed specs based off of my specific needs in a computer. Now if only I can figure out how to use the damn thing. I also owe him a drink in OH for his hours of research.

Apparently Shane closely monitors his friends feeds for pics from his performance because he liked our pic from the other weekend. It's nice to know someone was paying attention.

And two people I respect professionally had positive comments about my first foray into the big leagues.

There were so many other things but these are the ones that are still resonating.

Renewal and Looking Forward

Life is crazy sometimes.  It can amaze you with it's bountiful wonderfulness, those moments when you realize that there is so much more out there to explore and experience. It can also shock you with it's cruelty, when something robs your ideals and teaches you another lesson.

Certain people in my life are waiting for me to crack under the pressure of my circumstances. They contact me with that hesitancy and curiosity, looking for the fissures that don't exist. I'm not talking about true friends who are truly concerned, that is completely different. Those true friends are the ones who show me how amazing this world can be. In the past month, I have once again discovered and experienced such deep and beautiful love. I have had people call, text, visit, sit in cars, and email me in order to show their love for me.

This situation is so dramatically different from what I experienced fifteen years ago. I'm sad but I have fond memories, rather than pain and hurt. I'm a stronger person, one who knows what I want in my life. And the greatest difference is the amazing people in my life. I was truly alone before, isolated from family and losing my last remaining friends.  Now, I am blessed to have four wonderful best friends who give me so much love and support that this gal could survive anything. But I'm also so fortunate to have all my other remarkable friends who care and comfort as well. 

Life is truly wonderful! Fifteen years ago, I felt the need to rebel against my circumstances and cut off all my hair in retaliation. There was a significance to this act. I kept the pixie cut for more than two years as a reminder of my decisions. Now, I am too respectful of the man who was good to me for the last twelve years to celebrate our current situation, but I feel the need to have a more permanent reminder of who I am, where I've been, what I've overcome, and where I'm going.

My pal, Nancy, and I have had several conversations lately about her tattoo artist and I'm leaning towards getting something to remind me of my recent decisions to live the life I want, to admit my worth, to refuse to ever settle, to recognize my strength, and to accept that I am a loving, warm, and caring person and fuck anyone who thinks differently. This was the big conversation during St. Patty's Day, a renewal of spirit. Mich has already made several suggestions and of course, insists on being here when I get it done. Though at this time I'm leaning towards a suggestion my hair goddess, Erinn, made, I'd love to hear other ideas or suggestions for a tattoo design. Plus, I will finally get my ears pierced. I think Mich is the only one who knows why that's significant because it's based on an asinine statement.

St. Patrick's Day

Becky, Mel, Erin

The sixth annual St. Patrick's Day celebration has been voted the best ever. Somehow this has become our annual day to rehash the first quarter of the new year. I think there were more laughs than concerns this year, though I had to keep reassuring Miss Red Scarf that I am truly okay with my life. I hope she believes me now, especially as I shared how I plan to commemorate what I view as my renewal.

The best part of the annual drink is watching the people around us. Since the temps were quite chilly, the hoochie outfits were minimal though the men wore some questionable outfits. The reason we like JKs for St. Patrick's Day is for the men-in-kilts. Finally some were spotted but at first we thought they were women. Eek! 

Bagpipes

We actually lamented missing high-five guy from our first year because well, the men were behaving for once, so no pics with strange men, but only because we couldn't take a pic of what happened. After more than an hour, it was time to leave when we heard the bagpipes. This is always the highlight of our annual drink! We had been making our way around the bar when the band arrived. I have no idea how it happened but we were included in the drum circle. It was awesome!

A Few of My Favorite Things

One little corner of our house

Several people have remarked that they are not feeling in the Christmas spirit this year. I can relate as Christmas cards and shopping have been low on my priority list, but I refuse to allow this to be a bah humbug season. There are so many little things that make this a wonderful season so I am sharing a few of my favorite things from the past few weeks.

Tree and decorations - Seeing these as I walk in the door causes an uplift in my emotions. My family has a tradition of one new ornament every year so our tree is filled with loving ornaments, each representative of interests and events. Also, the gals and I have exchanged ornaments the past few years so they have a place as well. The candles on the mantle and strewn through the house are from my childhood and the nativity set (not shown) is my mom's. 

Sidewalk is cleared then I gave up

Treats - Sarai, who bakes goodies every year, sent me a box of treats, which were quite yummy. This was followed by several bags of baked goodies during the gift exchange at Sarai's holiday party. I know this may shock several of you, but I brought a homemade dessert to the holiday party this year. So far, I have made two cherry delights (one for the work holiday party and another for Sarai's party), which is what my mom makes for Christmas dessert. And I made my mom's cheese ball which was a Christmas Eve tradition when I was a child.

Snow - I love watching it snow or playing with Bartle, who disappears in the white mess. Though I've not enjoyed shoveling more than a foot of it the past few weeks nor the slick roads which led to me sliding through a stop sign, jumping the sidewalk and missing the lamp post by inches, yet I still want a white Christmas.

Our long distance toast

Friends - Mich and Crystal toasted my news (I promise to share later) this week and posted a pic on fb since 800 miles separate us from celebrating together. 

Peggy made me cry the other week when she responded to my message following her recent surgery. She remarked on how wonderful it was to have friends she loved who cared. 

Delia who made me laugh when she asked if I had re-gifted because great minds led to us giving each other identical chocolates. 

Bartle looking quite pathetic

Kay who delivered Sarai's treat box along with the department's treats with the claim that the germ-a-phobe had her own box so other's didn't breath on it. Laugh it up! I'm not the only germ-a-phobe.

Becky who spent her birthday with me, watching short men run around with long swords, or the latest Hobbit movie. She is one of the few who will suffer with me trying to recall the innumerable characters and their relations to people from the other movies. Her memory recall of the various details from books and movies is truly impressive. FYI ... I'm finally caught up with Once Upon A Time.

Queen of our house

My babies - Bartle had oral surgery this week and was overly pathetic and clingy while Cleo was her typical self, taking the time to approach him and then hissing as if offended. Though James is home for the holiday break, Bartle insists on clinging to me. He spent Friday afternoon at my feet under the dining table, even when James took a nap in the bedroom, which is Bartle's safety place. He sat at my feet while I got ready to go out both Friday and Saturday as well. He really wants his mommy and daddy won't do. I spent all-day Sunday lounging around in my new amazing fleece pajamas ($10 at Wal-Mart featuring woolly lambs), snuggling with Bartle and Cleo while working on the computer. I'm sure it was me and not the pajamas that was the draw.

Secret Rendezvous Vacay

Erica, Crystal, Mel, Jen, Mich, Cheryl

How cool is it that we managed a secret rendezvous for Mich's birthday? Not only that, but Mich is such a fabulous friend that she also invited my Florida pals to join us. Jen and I have been friends since grad school, which makes her my oldest friend. Our paths crossed during undergrad at UF but we didn't meet until we both worked at the library in Tampa. Cheryl and I periodically carpooled together but strangely became better friends after I moved away. I have much respect and admiration for both of these ladies, so I was pleased that Mich arranged for all of us to get together including her other best friends, Crystal and Erica.

The gals found it hilarious that following the above pic, I requested an update on the football score from the very cute bartender. Since it was the second week of college football, I had my priorities. We ended up at a brewery listening to several bands while I had the perfect view of the game. We won't discuss my team's loss, my favorite coach's team's loss, or my cheering for a former enemy (though my turn to the dark side has pleased two of my male pals). I will admit to some shock that the music scene and the over-30 scene in the Fort is better than the city where we had our secret retreat.

Mich and I had many great meals, including a hunt for cheesecake and a yummy homemade meal courtesy of a secret special cook. We also went on several shopping expeditions, in which I netted some facial products, sex-me heels, and an awesome new watch that couldn't be resisted. Another favorite part of the trip is surprising Mich with fun birthday gifts and her surprising me with pumpkin flavored creamer. Another great weekend trip with Mich!

Feelin' the Love

You'd think my friends would celebrate my promotion. I'm not asking for a parade or anything, but a night out or a celebratory drink. Instead I receive this little note on my desk.

My current desk is coveted. It's far enough away from the action, yet it's close to the other staff and has a fabulous view. And a certain someone has been trying to take over my desk for years. It began simply with the decorations. Every holiday, this someone would string lights around my area, which I thought was nice. Then they began to pile their belongings on top of our shared wall. I shrugged at this as well, but now comes the note. I promise to leave the desk as clean as the new office I am acquiring. If you've ever been in that office, you know how telling this statement is.

I guess we both plan to spend December 1st moving! Love ya, Dawne! I'll make sure to leave behind all of Elaine and Mary's leftovers which I never cleaned out when I moved to this desk.

Dangers of Letting Us Out

Ladies of the GC

Dawne, Delia, and I are a dangerous group of ladies but especially when we're allowed to take a road trip and room together in Birmingham, Alabama for a genealogy conference. There was a lot of food, conversations, laughing, and work at this event. We had numerous food moments on the road trip alone, such as the wish for a Long John Silvers followed by a parting of the clouds revealing a LJS at the next exit, our ice cream stop, candy bar runs, and our KFC experience. We visited KFC in Kentucky, where the floors, chairs, and tables were covered in grease, we fought the flies for our food, and a young man in neon green socks thought it was easier to hop around with his knees locked in place rather than pulling his pants up. At the conference, many activities took place around food, including a required rib dinner at Dreamland BBQ with Kris, dinner at a Thai restaurant with Dawne's group, crawfish, shrimp grits, lobster macaroni, every food category at Casey's Sports Bar, Delia's never ending patience with my morning coffee ritual, a cheesecake run, and gallons of sweet tea.

The service at the hotel was mixed and created much drama for a number of people including us. I was forced to use my "you're a fucking idiot" voice while keeping my calm when speaking to the front staff when we found ourselves locked out because the hotel checked us out on Friday though we had a reservation through Sunday. My frustration was exacerbated when our room was not serviced for a full day. A slow build-up led to the grand finale. After two conversations with the front desk and one with the valet, I was positive we knew the parking rules until the parking garage refused to allow us to exit the premises without paying though we had already paid the parking fee for the week. I had a stern conversation with the front staff, who refused to refund me, but two managers later, they finally refunded the parking fee. Unfortunately, we had this same conversation again the next morning when I checked out. At the same time we were having bad service, we also had amazing service. We ate a meal a day at the hotel restaurant, Casey's, and received fabulous service every time. The valets and bellmen were phenomenal with unpacking our van and keeping track which three rooms all of the ACPL packages were assigned. And our shuttle driver, Eddie, deserves a customer service award for driving us twenty minutes out of the way and picking us up from the Cheesecake Factory.

Many great conversations were held over the conference week as well. Of course there were the badly behaved comments: "that's what she said" or he said jokes, "the device" jokes, geese pooping colored cubes, and "heavy, slippery, and my side was wet" (a description of the coffee splattered banner). Among all of this craziness, we attended sessions, met new researchers, and worked the Fort Wayne booth. Delia found time to be interviewed by the Birmingham News, while Dawne was the spokesperson for the FGS 2013 Conference. Several moments will remain fresh in my mind, such as Lou's hug and comment about being proud, Sharon's remark about the board, George's excitement at my UDC acceptance, Dawne's campaign, Amy's annual opening session commentary, and my roommates continuous kindness and friendship. The perfect ending to the week was Mich's visit; fab food; watching the Alabama vs. Michigan game with Kris, who is a huge Michigan fan; Mich's cousin, Alyssa, taking us to a local bar; and spotting the SEC headquarters.

Mind Set on Sex

Kay's comment: "I think that a lot of them would slip into the intimate hoo-hoo if given the eyebrow lift," on Male/ Female Relations made me think of this quote from the movie, Simply Irresistible:

Amanda: My friend Nolan told me this thing about men and sex, that they think about it 238 times a day and when they do they adjust their belts.
Tom: That's ridiculous, no, no, not the belt- I meant the amount. That's ridiculous. Do the math I'm awake maybe 17 hours a day. Times 60 would be 1020, divided by 238, that would be sex about every 4 minutes... yeah, yeah, that's about right.
Quotes available thanks to IMDB.

I know in recent years some of my male friends have crossed the line, believing that my flirty banter and compliments meant I wanted something more. And I won't deny that after many months of clearly stating I was not interested in anything more than friendship, one of my former pals, Jason, shocked me by saying he would wait until I was ready to be with him (there was more to this, but since I've interacted with Jason as a professional colleague, I can't go any further in writing, but let's say the st... word ended that friendship).

So why do men appear to place sex first when interacting with women whereas women truly are seeking friendship? When talking to Kay, I realized that a majority of my male friends would have slept with me if I had indicated an interest, even though sex would have damaged our friendships. In a recent conversation with hubby, I asked him what are three things he wanted from marriage and three things that make him happy. You guessed it, sex appeared on both lists.

It's curious why sex is so important to men compared to women? I personally enjoy sex, believe that the release of endorphines is beneficial, ogle men and enjoy my eye candy, and highly recommend flings for those not in a relationship, so then why isn't sex such a high priority on my mind? Why would I place friendship over a sexual relationship? (Replace the my and I with most females). Anyone else have an explanation?

30 Things ...

I highly recommend women check out this book that Cheryl had on her Goodreads page called 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30. Glamour magazine created this list of 30 things and thanks to its popularity, the editors created a book with essays discussing these items. The essays provide an intriguing commentary on the various topics and show how diverse we truly are. For myself, I found it interesting that even now, I am missing some of the items on the list.

Some of the items that I lacked:
- The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
- The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
- That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.

And items that made me pause:
One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. Everyone knows the latter was easy for me, but I struggled with thinking of the former, but I did finally think of an ex who I could see myself going back to because I miss the friendship though I know it would never work.

When to try harder and when to walk away. I struggle with this regularly, but believe I have gotten better with age.

A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. During a recent conversation with hubby, he stopped me to remark, "my wife, ladies and gentleman," in a snarky tone because stories from my past can be quite scandalous at times.

One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. I am truly blessed in this.

Check out the entire list at Glamour and let me know what you think.

Yes, We Are Crazy

Mich and I have a strange connection, one that allows us to grasp what the other is thinking when no one else can or to say a word or phrase which can convey a whole conversation between us, such as "should-haves." It is eery how we can deal with situations 800 miles apart and know what the other would say in that situation. And then there are the times when we are polar opposites, yet it is so typical of our relationship. We recently had two conversations that had us in stitches.

We were discussing my January visit to Florida for the Volusia/ Flagler Genealogy Seminar. I mentioned the need to register Mich for the seminar, in which she quipped, I didn't think about going to the seminar.My deflated ego had me remarking that I didn't realize she wanted to visit the beach in January. (This is a joke between us because the southern gal can't forgive me for moving among the Yankees.) I figured since she was driving the 3 1/2 hours to get me to the seminar that she would attend the sessions. She laughed and said she hadn't thought that far in advance but that she wanted to see me present. It cracked me up that we think so differently, with me once again planning and Mich being the free spirit I drag along.

This was followed by Mich remarking that she was visiting family in Birmingham during Labor Day weekend. I exclaimed, you do know I will be at the FGS conference in Birmingham. Mich responded, yeah but that's at the end of August. After some calendar reviewing I convinced her that we were in Birmingham at the same time. I have to wonder if she did this to make me laugh.

Then last night, Mich told me about the baby frogs seeking shelter at the library during the tropical storm. As soon as the doors opened to let people in, a dozen or more baby frogs hopped into the building, but due to their size, some were being stepped on. Mich said she kept saving the frogs and releasing them back outside. But the funny moment occurred when she was caught by a patron while telling the frog in her hand that she was helping it. The patron gave her an odd look.

This is too funny because I told her about running into laundry guy (Becky's neighbor) and how he stopped to play with Bartle. As LG said goodbye, I tugged on the leash and commented to Bartle, tell him thank you. LG gave me a strange look, which I thought nothing of considering he'd previously asked me for a doggy play date at 10:30 pm and he's a freaky exhibitionist, but it dawned on me that he must have thought that I truly expected the dog to talk. I'm sorry but pet owners talk to their pets. We don't expect responses, it just becomes natural to hold your end of the conversation.

Here's the truth about why Mich and I are such awesome friends ... we're both crazy!

Let the Madness Begin

Day 3, Sunday

9:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m. Between my coughing and Bartle's itch issues, I didn't sleep well, so I allowed myself another late morning. Much more of this dysfunctional sleep routine and I'll be in trouble. With all the warm weather, allergy season has started early and unfortunately for Bartle, this is rough. His ears are usually the first sign that his allergies are flaring up. He begins to scratch them insistently. Having a cone on his head prevents him access to his ears, so he scratches the cone trying to get to the itch then becomes so upset that he tries to push the cone over his own head. So for the majority of the night, I listened to his nails scratching the cone. Then I would get up and scratch his ears until he calmed. This was not as easy as it sounds as I'm confused in the middle of the night and he is upset and fidgety and I'm trying to scratch an area near his swelling without touching his bruising. We have Benadryl for him, but I was unsure of mixing it with his painkillers, anti-inflammatory, and joint medication. I know, my dog takes more meds than me right now. So I felt a bit shaky while getting ready for work and suddenly realized it had been an hour and forty minutes. This was not a good sign as this meant I was unaware of losing time.

11:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Drove into work and wrote up my blog post before beginning the day. Today marked the beginning of our March Madness programming. I worked with John all day which was fun. We have this interesting rapport and comfort level. I managed to cram a lot of stuff into my first hour before meeting with Kris, who was our speaker for the day. Kris and I met in Salt Lake City and sat next to each other on a return flight a few years ago. During the flight we discovered we had a lot in common, such as a love of genealogy, lecturing, travel, food, being rabid college football fans, and we both have spouses who are in the same professional field as us, which can be complicated. So I was quite pleased to introduce him for his lecture on Polish research. We had a moment before the session when my boss snuck in the back. Kris asked, if I knew Curt was planning to be there. I responded, no that he had an outside appointment today. Kris said, then he must be checking up on you, which I replied, maybe he is checking on you. This byplay has to do with the fact that a position might be coming open in my department in the coming year and there are many people interested in the job, including me. The lecture had a good crowd and Kris was phenomenal as expected. We parted with plans to try different levels of chili at the NGS Conference in May. Did I mention we both love food? The rest of the work shift was uneventful.

4:30 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. I went home and talked to mom and dad during separate calls. Dad was at the airport so I couldn't clarify some things he said, but he did share that he had made copies of their birth and marriage certificates for my UDC application. Yay! I was a bit confused to hear my grandmother "had essentially gone off the rails and was being hospitalized." I don't know if this means she is in a hospital or an institution. She has suffered from dementia for years, but I pointed out to hubby that I thought she was a bit off for decades. Fed, medicated, cleaned, and walked Bartle.

6:30 p.m. - 12:30 a.m. Becky came over for our weekly t.v. viewing. We caught up on The Vampire Diaries and Once Upon a Time. Bartle was ecstatic at having his gal pal around. Instead of acting all whiny and pathetic, he was overly hyper. I was still a bit concerned because he is only eating about a quarter of his normal food intake, but based on his energy level around Becky, I think he'll be fine. Talked to hubby before medicating and cleaning Bartle's wound. Completed an hour of prayer and Bible reading, which I do every Sunday. And then I couldn't sleep. This was what I was afraid would happen. I'm now in one of those cycles where my body is exhausted yet I can't shut down the mental chaos in my head.

St. Patty's Day

Day 2, Saturday

8:15 a.m. - 10:40 a.m. I allowed myself to sleep in since Bartle had a rough night and woke me at least four times. We got up and went for a walk. I grabbed breakfast, cleaned Bartle's wound, which is extremely swollen and bloody, and gave him meds. After putting on a load of laundry and washing dishes, I relaxed on the couch with a cup of coffee, a book, and Bartle attached to my hip. Wrote up yesterday's blog post and registered for NGS before showering and getting ready for the day.

10:40 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Bartle and I visited the vet and got a good report. They are concerned with his lack of appetite but we'll wait til Monday to see if it is the pain meds. Some of his fur had gotten twisted in his stitches so they had to clean that as well. We ran a few errands together since I'm trying to get him over his newly acquired fear of car rides. Once home, I threw in another load of laundry while I did 30 minutes of yoga along with the Yoga Zone dvd Sarai recommended. Then I sat on the floor with Bartle and finished my genealogy filing project that I began when creating my digital organization lecture. It was nice to have finished that project though I now have a stack of items that require scanning.

12:30 p.m. - 3:30 p.m. Ate lunch before taking a quick nap. Once awake, I retouched my makeup while switching out my winter wardrobe with my summer clothes. Then I was out the door for my appointment at the salon. I love getting my hair done. It is a nice reprieve from everything and a quiet moment to get pampered, plus my stylist is so much fun.

3:30 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. Returned home to walk Bartle, clean his wound, give him more meds, and continue switching out my winter/ summer clothes. Got ready to go out for the gals annual St. Patrick's Day celebration.

5:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. Becky picked me up to head downtown where we stopped by the library to pick up Erin. In the course of our visit, we stopped to say hello to Aisha, Dawne, and Delia and Becky couldn't say no to helping a patron though Becky was in a festive green shirt and jeans. Off we went to J.K.'s for a drink, which was humorous as none of us could have alcohol. We ended up with Sprites and were disappointed that the bartender couldn't at least put some green food color in our glasses. We walked around the bar, watching the festivities, and chatting until the marching band arrived. Got to love the men in kilts. We skipped the beer tent this year for several reasons, which I won't note in here. Erin had worked all day, so she needed to get home to put Ian to bed, so Becky and I headed out to Outback for dinner. We were told it would be a 40 minute wait, so I headed to restroom. Upon my return, I discovered Becky had snagged us a table in the bar and we proceeded to make gluttons of ourselves. It had been seven hours since we last ate, so we finished off an appetizer, dinner, and dessert. Yum!

8:30 p.m. - 1:00 a.m. Once home, hubby and I struggled with Bartle's next treatment and cleaning. We finished another round of laundry, switched the flannel for cotton bedding, and walked Bartle before I laid down with a book to go to sleep. Unfortunately, my body decided something in the room was disturbing my allergies and I stayed up until around 1:00 a.m. coughing.

Surgery Day

Janssen blogged about a fascinating exercise where her friend chronicled her life for a week. Since Michelle is on a cruise for the next seven days, I thought this might be a fun way for her to catchup on what she missed. See, Mich and I have never gone more than a couple days without contact so this will be hard on us.

Day 1, Friday

6:00 a.m. -7:20 a.m. I had a difficult time waking up and kept hitting the snooze button until I couldn't push it further. Got ready and woke hubby, so he could take Bartle to the vet for his surgery. Saying goodbye to my baby was hard. I teared up while giving him lots of hugs. We have this game, where I tap my cheek and say, give me a kiss. He usually licks my cheek, but today he was confused, so I didn't get my kiss.

7:20 a.m. -8:00 a.m. I decided to return my mother's phone call from the night before while driving in to work. She had called at 8:50 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. It was a tense call since once again she forgot that I couldn't take calls after 8:00 p.m.; she had to apologize for blowing me off on Tuesday because my sister had yet another crisis; but mom didn't think anything of the fact the incident had occurred 2 days before and she had waited this whole time to call, though the reason I called her on Tuesday was due to the fact no one had called me in over a week; and she forgot about Bartle's surgery. Feeling quite neglected at this point.

8:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. I managed to make changes to the ILF lecture and Shadowed Roots lecture. Worked the desk with the amazing Dawne and Becky. And I showed great restraint when an incident occurred while I was discussing the insurance situation with our director. I have spent hours of my personal time the past 3 months questioning our administration  about them drastically changing our health insurance. The director and I were having a great conversation and he was agreeing with my points, when my troublesome colleague interrupted me midsentence to share her story. Once she was done, I continued with what I was saying. By 1:00, I was frustrated that the vet had not called with an update, so I checked with them that Bartle was out of surgery.

2:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. We picked Bartle up, with his cone, meds, and black eye. He was quite disoriented and drooling. Ate a quick lunch, sat with Bartle while he whined, tried desperately to get him to eat and be calm. Read a book while Bartle sat attached to my hip, still whining. Hubby came and spelled me for a bit so I could take a nap, but Bartle insited on lying next to me on the bed. Trying to get him to jump on the bed, which is a bit more elevated than a normal bed, was a task. He finally figured it out, which won him lots of kudos.

7:00 p.m. - 10:15 p.m. Stopped by Becky's for a chat and to show off my wounded baby. Bartle and I took a walk, which ended abruptly when Bartle managed to yank the cone and leash off. With the cone, we have to use a normal circular leash, which doesn't work well with all his fur. Usually he wears a harness because of the fact he can yank a normal leash off his head. After 30 minutes of enticement, we managed to get him to eat his food and take more meds. Dinner and an episode of Supernatural with hubby and it was time for bed.

Writer's Mayhem

There has been a lot of talk, but little action involving the writing world this past month. The fabulous Kay and I attended a writer's group meeting, where we were expected to analyze scenes in our favorite book and discuss why the scene works and how we can incorporate that element into our own writing. Sounded like a great idea at the time, but not so informative. Everything that was discussed was so oversimplified it blew my mind. Now, I know, I am a snob in the writing arena. Kay and I both are members of RWA and receive numerous perks thanks to our membership. And the things being discussed in this group are the basics covered in our monthly magazine, much less the workshops available at our fingertips. I could understand a beginner's group, except the ego mania and sycophants at this meeting. Once again my snobbishness will show with this statement, but I wouldn't be acting all uppity if I was self-published. Wait I wouldn't be self-published, not in the arena this person was hyping; the $1.00 menu publisher. It doesn't mean anything to those of us looking for a contract with a publishing company. And I understand the teacher bringing her books as examples, but not openly handing them out and offering to autograph. We recently distributed a book written by the amazing Dawne, who was shocked when people approached her for an autograph, so I wasn't impressed by the ego. But the final comment that made me decide never to return related to one of the workshop attendees, followed by the instructor making this comment, "based on samples submitted, I can tell who will never be published." Excuse me, if you read the complete crap I wrote a decade ago, you'd say the same about me, yet I've been published in my professional work and have vastly improved in my personal writing. This comment revolted me, especially as her loyal follower loudly agreed with the instructor. Enough said, we won't return to this group, which is fine since we have such an amazing group of our own.

The writer's group from our recent writing challenges met for dinner on Wednesday night. It was a raucous fun time. Some of the individuals have never socialized together, but the dynamic was intriguing. We each challenge each other in our writing endeavors, yet we cover the spectrum from fiction, romance, historical, research oriented, and personal memoirs. I'm so glad that Sarai insisted we get together. It was a welcome respite and motivator. Sarai mentioned she hadn't been writing the past month since we didn't have a challenge.

Which leads to the latest March Mayhem. Each of us are approaching our projects so differently this time around. Several individuals are looking for time to research their writing material, while others want to organize what they have, and some plan to count words, pages, and time spent. March will be an interesting time for our writing group as we continue forward in our pursuit.

What Vacation?

Hubby and I took a four day weekend so we could relax and actually spend time together. Unfortunately, life decided we weren't allowed to relax. I began my weekend with an emotional phone call with Mich, which was hard because I had felt beaten up by a phone call with my mother where I apparently am not supposed to care as much as I do. So I feared a similar smack down from Mich, which I did not receive, but there was lots of crying involved. This was followed by a call from my mother who was diagnosed with glaucoma. I am trying to be positive that the drops have shown a slight improvement, but the dilemma is my mother only has one strong eye, so any loss of vision in that eye is not good.

Hubby arrived home and I was already wiped out. I slept most of Thursday and woke to discover our laptop was dead. Have I mentioned hubby has an issue with parting with money? I though nothing of buying a new laptop, but hubby spent the entire weekend recovering our operating system. So far it appears hubby might have beaten the technology mayhem as the OS is currently working at the moment. We are still discussing buying a new computer since we question how long the OS will work.

B had another trip to the vet where we were informed that yes, his tumor has grown back. The next procedure they will do is remove the gland, which is part of his eyelid and then sew his lid back together. Thanks to all that stitching along the lid, it will be a 12 day recovery in which B has to wear a cone in order to not touch the stitching. This led to all kinds of issues for us, including money and time. Don't get me wrong, I'm willing to give anything to get him better but it was hard trying to plan it out along with dealing with my emotions over him having another surgery.

The bright light of the weekend was game night. I had such a wonderful time with an amazing group of ladies. There was way too much chocolate and way too much laughter. I have to state I am sorry if I offended anyone with my raunchy comments, but it was all in good fun. I ended my weekend by walking to the fitness center to "save" Becky from some deranged woman who kept banging on the door. By the time I got there, the woman had disappeared, which was disappointing. I was kind of hoping to vent some of my frustration. So another relaxing weekend to prepare me for my crazy week.

Gals of TGC

I am truly blessed to work with a group of remarkable women. Two of my best friends work in our building though not in our department and I have three wonderful ladies as colleagues, Dawne, Delia, and Kay. We share way too many laughs, rants, and fun during the work day. We also have a tendency to wear the same color scheme without discussing it. It's as if we're psychically connected. So on Saturday of the NBGS, the gals of The Genealogy Center were wearing pinkish purple tones with black and gray. Though Kay was not with us, Aaron wore her colors for her, but we didn't run into him until we were leaving the building, so no pic is available.

FGS Conference 2011

FGS was great this year with lots of interesting presentations and enjoyable activities, but I'm sure you'd like to hear about the funnier events of the past week. Let's begin with the never ending drive. I-69 was backed up, IN-5 had construction along with every other highway we took, all leading to a longer drive to Springfield, in which we arrived an hour late, but we did discover Fickle, IN. Who else can say the same? Later that evening we took the very long route to dinner while Curt tried to navigate from memory, so two memorable car rides in one day. I saw many friends and acquaintances throughout the conference and shared some funny moments, like Tony B regaling Steve and I with his recent adventures. We were in stitches for hours. Or my adventure to Coldstone with Amy, where the server offered up regular size conconctions as test subjects before we ever ordered our desert. And I was rather annoyed to receive this bill for my drink one night. Do you see what might have annoyed me here? And I was impressed that Steve and Kris still have stomach linings following their experience with the horseshoe, which is the equivalent of a heart attack on a plate. And finally I have to thank my social coordinator, Dawne, who arranged several of my social activities directly and indirectly. Looking forward to next year's conference.

My 35th Birthday!

My 35th Birthday weeklong vacation began with Michelle's arrival in the Fort and the opening of gifts. Mich had made 7 discs labeled "Mel's Radio Mix," which included bands that aren't on Fort radio regularly like Cage the Elephants, Neon Trees, and 30 Seconds to Mars. I've been listening to them non-stop. Awesome gift!


People expect Mich and I to party hard. I don't know where we've gotten this rep, but I can guarantee you, we visited 2 bars (minus Chicago), found Waldo at IHOP, had dinner at Cork 'n Cleaver, shopped for two days, started knitting projects, and played some hardcore UNO and Yahtzee with the hubby. Some of my favorite moments were watching movies and of course, tv shows. I had to hold her hand through Crichton's death on Farscape and introduced her to Supernatural. We have a habit of watching sci-fi shows together.

Michelle, Becky, Erin, and I traveled to Chicago for a fabulous night out. Our hotel even upgraded us to the top suite. Woo-hoo! We began with dinner at the House of Blues, followed by an evening of singing and dancing at Howl at the Moon. We briefly (for 15 minutes) tried some dance clubs, but hopped back in a roller coaster taxi ride back to HATM.

Overall a wonderful, relaxing, and enjoyable birthday week. I'm so grateful to everyone who went to dinner, to my gals for going to Chicago, and Michelle for flying up from Florida. It was a great way to spend my 35th!


Dancing Gals

Singing Gals

Good Husbands

I spent St. Patty's Day having dinner with Erin, her hubby, and son. It was a nice evening. Baby boy was an adorable flirt and a joy to watch, but what I truly found fascinating was Erin and her hubby's interaction. They move in sync with each other without communication. Don't get me wrong, they were having a full blown conversation but they alterated feeding baby boy and themselves as well as walking him around to check the sites. While walking to the car, they held hands and held baby boy. It once again reiterated why I have such respect for Erin. Her relationship with her hubby is impressive and she's a wonderful mother. Don't they make a cute family?

Then her hubby took baby boy home so Erin and I could have some girl time. We enjoyed the bag pipe performance as well as the bands. It was a nice time out. Though we overheard one of the women stating when did St. Patrick's Day become a whorefest and she was right, there were some interesting outfits on display.

My hubby was phenomenal the past few weeks as well. Last weekend, hubby was kind enough to spend his three day weekend helping me search for a coffee table. Yes, it took three days to locate an expresso finished extension cofee table with an extra shelf. When I asked hubby to attend the chocolate festival with me, he readily agreed. This is shocking since hubby hates traveling, much less visiting a festival. Then he agreed to drive to Pittsburgh to spend a few hours with my dad. I was pretty impressed with his ready agreement. This weekend, hubby went to the Borders close out sale with Becky and I. It was utter chaos in the store with lines that wrapped around multiple times. Hubby was so wonderful and patient though he hates crowds.

Becky and I went out for a fun Girls Night, which led to Men Behaving Badly, which will be my next blog post.

I Understand

I'm always "joking" with Michelle that she should move up here. I give her many reasons, such as shopping for cool clothes, including boots, lots of good looking guys, hanging out with me and the gals, having a workout buddy, and of course, she can spend time with me! All of these tempt her, but she has an irrational fear of snow. As a Florida gal, I understand. I was initially hesitant at the idea of moving into the winter wonderland. My first year I had to ask all kinds of crazy questions from what to do when your car skids to how to tie a scarf. That is why you have friends, so they can explain it all to you. But I recognize, that Michelle will never move up here for three main reasons:



Having to clear/ dig snow off her car.



Having to break ice that has connected her car to the pavement.



And having to walk between heaping mounds of snow to exit a parking lot.

It's been an interesting winter.