Life is crazy sometimes. It can amaze you with it's bountiful wonderfulness, those moments when you realize that there is so much more out there to explore and experience. It can also shock you with it's cruelty, when something robs your ideals and teaches you another lesson.
Certain people in my life are waiting for me to crack under the pressure of my circumstances. They contact me with that hesitancy and curiosity, looking for the fissures that don't exist. I'm not talking about true friends who are truly concerned, that is completely different. Those true friends are the ones who show me how amazing this world can be. In the past month, I have once again discovered and experienced such deep and beautiful love. I have had people call, text, visit, sit in cars, and email me in order to show their love for me.
This situation is so dramatically different from what I experienced fifteen years ago. I'm sad but I have fond memories, rather than pain and hurt. I'm a stronger person, one who knows what I want in my life. And the greatest difference is the amazing people in my life. I was truly alone before, isolated from family and losing my last remaining friends. Now, I am blessed to have four wonderful best friends who give me so much love and support that this gal could survive anything. But I'm also so fortunate to have all my other remarkable friends who care and comfort as well.
Life is truly wonderful! Fifteen years ago, I felt the need to rebel against my circumstances and cut off all my hair in retaliation. There was a significance to this act. I kept the pixie cut for more than two years as a reminder of my decisions. Now, I am too respectful of the man who was good to me for the last twelve years to celebrate our current situation, but I feel the need to have a more permanent reminder of who I am, where I've been, what I've overcome, and where I'm going.
My pal, Nancy, and I have had several conversations lately about her tattoo artist and I'm leaning towards getting something to remind me of my recent decisions to live the life I want, to admit my worth, to refuse to ever settle, to recognize my strength, and to accept that I am a loving, warm, and caring person and fuck anyone who thinks differently. This was the big conversation during St. Patty's Day, a renewal of spirit. Mich has already made several suggestions and of course, insists on being here when I get it done. Though at this time I'm leaning towards a suggestion my hair goddess, Erinn, made, I'd love to hear other ideas or suggestions for a tattoo design. Plus, I will finally get my ears pierced. I think Mich is the only one who knows why that's significant because it's based on an asinine statement.
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