The Fun Stuff

The gals at HATM

A while ago, I posted that some people thought my posts were negative, especially as I dealt with several difficult and stressful situations. Personally, I didn't feel negative, but thought of my blog as a way to channel and account for some of my angst rather than having to explain to each individual person the macabre details. And I promised to note the things in my life that make it so wonderful, even when I'm struggling with harsh emotions.

Though my trip to Florida was only for three days, I was embarking into dangerous territory. We have the continuous drama created by my siblings, my tumultuous emotions over my mother's health and how it affects our relationship, and reconnecting with old friends. The weekend was filled with many deep heartfelt conversations with each member of my family.


Me and C

Since mom couldn't know I was in town until the dinner, I spent Friday with Mich. You got to love our moments together since Mich arrived at the airport in Mich-time (or ish-time) while we all know, I'm a clock-watcher. We practically ran into each other when she entered the building crossing my path while I walked the hallway to the baggage terminal. After lots of hugs, I had to share my airplane story. My ticket was for seat 37C on a 36-aisle plan. Yikes! After lunch at a bistro, I got my fabulous birthday gifts, which included another set of mix CDs so I can keep up with the latest music (Who knew that Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkins, and Garbage were the latest music again? Hello 1990s!) and a digital photo frame loaded with our New England trip pictures. Then we were off for some Mexican food and HATM. I loved catching up with Cheryl, who is total awesomeness.

The morning after mom's dinner, dad and I had breakfast at Village Inn, where I enjoyed Banana Maple Nut French Toast. Yum! Then the family barbequed and enjoyed the pool. I was minding my own business (okay, torturing my niece, N), when my dad decided to throw me into the pool. Though I managed to escape, I knew it was only a matter of time before I ended up in the water, so I cannonballed into the pool. My nieces insisted that we play Marco/ Pollo, which became hilarious when C decided that she wanted to be it and proceeded to grab and jump on Marco.

The kids conspiring against the adults.

These are the moments I cherish and remember during the bad times. Am I upset about mom's health? Yes, but I benefited from an amazing weekend with her, where I had the opportunity to thank her for saving my life all those years ago. Am I disappointed that my brother still struggles? Yes, but I allowed him to take credit for the dinner, which helped his self-esteem and I had the chance to tell him that I want my brother in my life, not a man who thinks he owes me something for his past behavior. I am grateful for the chance to tell my sister that I'm proud of her, to have meaningful talks with my dad, and some laughs and hugs with my nieces. Though emotionally exhausting, I would never give up the memories I garnered over that weekend.

Reactionary Gifts

As you can imagine, mom received many gifts at her retirement dinner. You could tell many people were aware of her coffee obsession since she received a number of Starbucks gift cards. Other gifts included a tea set, a picture frame signed by those attending the dinner, and several gag gifts. My contributions got some big reactions as well. Of course there was my visit and a lovely bouquet of roses, but these gifts didn't receive the same reaction as the other two presents, which I personally thought were minor things.

I gave my mother a copy of my United Daughters of the Confederacy application, including the Civil War service file on her ancestor. I went over the documents, explaining each one, including the letter from Jefferson Davis discussing the character of her ancestor, and an approval and receipt acknowledgement of documents by Robert E. Lee. She was so ecstatic over Lee's signature, which was one among many on the document. Every time someone came to the house, she would show them the papers and have me explain her ancestor's story. I'm sure by the fifth recitation my father was tired of hearing about this gentleman, but mom was so happy.

The other package I presented to her was my manuscript. She regaled everyone at dinner about my dream of being a published writer. It got a bit awkward when people began to ask about my story. I'm sure my mom's former colleagues, who still think of me as ten years old, would love to hear about my highly erotic paranormal. Mom called the other night because she is on her second reading of the story. She loves it and requested the first autograph copy. Her only complaint was my transitions were so intense, she could never find a good time to take a break from reading it.

Who knew the extra weight from the reams of paper in my carry-on bag would be so worth it? You never know what gifts will be cherished more by the individual.

Mom's Retirement Dinner

Mom's Retirement Dinner

I've been a bit quiet the past week due to traveling for a surprise trip, moving, and transitioning between homes. In the past six months, my mother has struggled with some health issues which led to her retiring after thirty plus years with the bank. Mom has never been big on parties, but prefers to have quiet moments with her loved ones. For the last two months my siblings and I have been planning a surprise dinner for her, which entailed contacting some of her former colleagues and friends. This has all been very hush-hush, involving lots of secret phone calls, convincing mom not to travel that week, and hiding from her the fact that I was visiting.

Me and my date, Mich

My mom's best friend, Patty and her husband, visited my mom and convinved her to get dressed up for a double-date with my dad, which is a nod to my parent's first date. Mom arrived at the restaurant, which was hosting four weddings and when she saw our group, she thought we were one of the wedding parties. She tried to turn around, but my aunt and dad kept propelling her forward until she recognized our group. Now, I learned to curse from my mother, who lets it fly when she is emotional. She was so shocked, words started fluttering through the air as she made her way forward.

Mom and I

She skimmed the faces, moving past mine when suddenly her head whipped back in my direction and she began to tear up. I was one of her big surprises and she couldn't believe I was standing there, escpecially as she knew I had contractors and movers at my new home.

The Family

The entire event and dinner was wonderful. When the people around the table introduced themselves and explained their relationship with mom, it was amazing to hear how many people felt mom was instrumental in their careers. Lots of food and conversation flowed around the group for hours before our small family unit went back to mom's house to relax for a while.

It was a truly miraculous dinner as my siblings and I managed to work through our differences in order to give mom an event she'll never forget and we managed to keep the whole thing quiet. And the weekend provided mom and I some real quality time together. I am grateful that this dinner was a great success and that we'll have these memories in the years to come.