A Lesson in Seduction

GNO

Warning: This one might be shocking!

My how things have changed in the past decade. Not that I'm dating as of yet, but after some things that have caught my attention the past few weeks, I may consider never dating.

I am definitely not the definition of a prude but the world seems to have dramatically changed in what is acceptable public behavior. I will be perfectly honest here. In the past, I have been asked to participate in sexual activities such as bondage, public sex, toys, pics, videos, voyeurism both ways, a variety of threesomes (F/F/M, M/F/M, M/M/F), and much more but that's nothing in comparison to the education I have received recently. It's made me rethink ever vocalizing things I find appealing, such as the following samples.

A man who knows what he wants is attractive. Maybe? A friend was reading details off of a guy's online profile and I didn't know something he mentioned as a sexual preference. Holy shit! I shouldn't have asked. Another one used some interesting terms to describe his S&M lifestyle. 

I have always found a man who can be upfront and honest about his desires sexy. Unless ... Within the first few minutes of a coffee date, a woman should not be asked if she'll ... in polite terms, perform a proctol massage. Thanks for sharing that story, I'm seriously rethinking coffee dates as a safe venue.

I want a man to grab me passionately and take control. Huh! Or so the fantasy went. Definitely not when we've never spoken to each other or upon first acquaintance. This resulted in me shoving a guy and slamming my arms out to block him.

Courtesy of TOA page

Then there was our GNO to see TOA this weekend. Before I get started I chose this pic because it featured Shane and Troy, two of my favorite gals favorite guys. I won't say anything else except the bad boy and sweetheart, gals! Most of my "men behaving badly" posts have been due to someone misbehaving at one of their performances. 

Now I know, I've danced provacotively in cages, on catwalks and bartops, rotating dance floors, and have no issue with some sexual stimulation on the dance floor. What I don't understand is the simulated sex acts and quite often with multiple partners. How is this sexy?

And here's the real lesson after the things I witnessed this weekend ... if all the guy is capable of doing is thrusting on the dance floor, then run away gals! Because that is all he'll know how to do in the bedroom or wherever. Dancing should be seductive, an opportunity for teasing touches, illicit brushing of bodies, which can lead to more or nothing. But what currently passes for temptation makes me want to laugh. Seriously, if that's all you have to offer, I can get thrusting from well ... anywhere. They sell toys for that, you know!

All I can say is it's a real jungle out there, fascinating and terrifying at the same time. 

[Please keep in mind that this is a commentary. I can see someone misinterpreting what I've written.]

Winter's Edge

Though we didn't have the predicted more than six inches on Wednesday, it was still slick and nasty outside. This bad weather led Matt to cancel our lunch plans and I was offered the chance to take some vacation. Obviously, I took the vacation.

This weather forces me to realize tmany angles to it, but it seems the corner where my patio lies gets slammed with snow, wind, and debris. If you've ever wondered what 40 mph winds can do with snow, check out the pic. It looked like someone had taken a paint gun to my back door. Of course, Bartle had to be in the pic!

For those who may not have heard, Bartle is the man of the house. The house which will legally belong to me in less than five days. Thank you to everyone for their compassion and love, and for the hours of listening to me as I make my way through this situation.

And don't believe I'll be sitting around lonely. Plans for the weekend include a night out with Becky and Mandy, possibility of seeing the Veronica Mars movie, a Skype call with Cheryl, and the annual St. Patty's Day ritual with the gals. This of course is all contingent on my antibiotics kicking in.

I've also been listening to a lot of music the past few weeks. Part of this is due to the fact that there was a disagreement over who owned which CDs so I'm backing up my music collection. Lots of Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Godsmack, Soundgarden, and Foo Fighters are being played. Katy Perry, Maroon 5 (who I used to find annoying), Imagine Dragons, and John Newman's Love Me Again is getting a lot of play on my Pandora account. Then there is my obsessive playing of Elky Summers (gals, Hello, How Are You Doing rips at me every time), Dave Matthews Band, and someone's recommendation of Van Morrison's Moondance.

It's been a wild month and promises to get crazier! But only in the best of ways.

Memories Playlist

The final playlist that I'll share is my Memories Playlist. These are the songs or artists that remind me of people, places, or experiences.

Let's admit the bad before we move on to the good. I like Radiohead but it is sheer pain for me to listen to most of their songs. My ex played a lot of Radiohead when drinking so this band crafted the soundtrack to most of my traumatic events. The haunting tones of Karma Police can still trigger night terrors. I used to love listening to Creep and have managed to not flee when it's played and have even sang along, but it still invokes bad memories.

I know memories related to a song can change based on the strength of the invoked emotions. What is Love by Haddaway used to remind me of the day Miles and Jimmy helped me create Homecoming Queen posters and pins. Because the song was playing during an amazing moment in one of my friendships, the related memory has now forever been altered.

Is it any shock that Sweet Home Alabama always reminds me of my southern gal, Mich? It's been her ringtone since we first met. Jimmy Buffet used to bring back some unpleasant memories, but now anytime I hear one of his songs, I think of Mich, who is a major fan. The entire soundtrack from Disney's Beauty & the Beast brings back memories of the time Mich and I seriously annoyed one of our pals on my 31st birthday. Bobby Brown's My Prerogative will forever remind me of our first trip to Chicago and dancing with the guy who had a whole routine, including removing his button-down shirt.

Every time I hear Journey or Bob Seger, I'm reminded of Kris. And thanks to one of his comments, I can't listen to Don't Stop Believin' without thinking, there is no South Detroit. Thanks a lot! Also, I'm not a fan of Cheap Trick's I Want You to Want Me, but I smile when I hear it being played. Violent Femme's Blister in the Sun reminds me of our dueling piano bar adventures.

Becky is solely responsible for my acceptance of hip-hop, so I envision our many nights dancing because I know she'll never abandon me on the floor. Depeche Mode's Enjoy the Silence and a certain very sexy dance routine are responsible for Becky and I having pizza and TV night for several post-Lost years. And The Outfield's Your Love will forever invoke memories of Shane's sigh-worthy performance of this song and our reactions.

Erin is my dancing queen. I will never forget her moves as the sole person on the dance floor the first time we ventured to a dance club. What makes the memory better is Erin was pregnant at the time. Erin is my gal who recalls the grand days of alternative/ska/rock but will dance to almost anything. Down by 311 and Santaria by Sublime brings to mind the first time I realized our mutual musical interests. 

Godsmack should be my rebel band. Years ago at Guavaween (think a slightly milder version of Mardis Gras), Naughty Mel had a completely crazy night of debauchary which I will not fully chronicle here. It began as one of the worst blind dates, with the guy getting high before we ever left my friend's apartment, but became one of my most memorable. I experienced my first mosh pit while watching Godsmack perform, enjoyed a cage and the revolving floor, and ended the evening with the hot bartender's number after dancing at the second floor interior railing at the Green Iguana.

And there are so many more, but basically music captures moments in my life. Anyone have any stories to share?

2014 So Far

Mel, Becky, Mandy & Erin @ NYE

The New Year began with the gals and hubbies at an Elky Summers' performance. Erin's hubby remarked on the fact that the last time we went out for New Years, it was three years ago at the same venue for an Elky show, though Erin commented that there would not be a burlesque performance this time. The gals took this as an indication that 2014 would be a good year since we were beginning it together. This New Years Eve, we were joined by Mandy, who helped us close the bar down. Elky once again gave an outstandingly wild performance. And I showed my support by purchasing one of their newly recorded LPs which included a code to download the songs as well. It was a sweet deal!

1st 2014 pic of James and Mel

Hubby and I spent the New Year removing the holiday decorations and enjoying our annual HIMYM viewing marathon. During the holiday season, I have a tradition of watching It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve, followed by While You Were Sleeping and Sleepless in Seattle on Christmas Day. Though James abandons me to watch these alone because he deems it inhumane torture to remain in the room, I have my reasons for this tradition. This year was the first time that I did not watch these movies. In a compromise with James over the holiday week, we watched the final four Harry Potter movies instead.

Bartle playing in the snow

This winter has been the snowiest and coldest winter we've experienced since moving up north, so it was shocking to suddenly find ourselves with 8-12 more inches of blowing snow while enduring multiple subzero days. When the high for the day is -16 then add in the wind chill, it equals freezing. The snow was pretty to watch though as it began to pile up, I became concerned about Bartle. As much as he loves playing in the snow, both of his back knees pop out of joint in cold weather and he becomes immobilized until the joint slips back into place. (No, I can't manage to do it myself.) I've had to carry him a few times already this winter. This made me a bit worried about him getting stuck while playing in a snowbank because it might terrify him. So before the snow became too deep, we spent Sunday afternoon playing outside. It is moments like this when Bartle acts like such a pup that make me smile. He was jumping and diving into the snow and though it was torture cleaning him afterwards, he is so worth it.

Snowy week

Because of the amounts of snow and subzero temps, we had three snow days from work. For my FL pals, this is not like a hurricane day. We don't remain huddled inside because there is work to be done during that time. So in subzero temps, I began the process of shoveling my driveway. After a few straining muscles, I decided the drive didn't really need clearing, just remove enough to get my car out. I always forget how wide and long my driveway is until I'm clearing it. When you add in the fact that it took two levels of snow for me to reach the ground and then I had to wade through the snow to dump the shovel in the yard, after 45 minutes, I had only cleared around my garage door. While taking a break, I was pleasantly surprised as my neighbor came over with his snow blower and cleared my driveway.

A major disappointment with the snow storm was that no one got to see my dramatic change. I have been itching for months to do something different with my hair. Say goodbye to the straight blondish length in the NYE pics. I have a much shorter, darker, and more natural (i.e. wavy-curl) hairstyle. It always amazes me whenever I go shorter that the most frequent comment I receive is that I look years younger but I'll take the compliment. And I know, I'm such a tease to comment on the hair and not provide a pic, but I truly hate selfies.

A Musical Vibe

In response to my previous playlist post, Delia mentioned that she is spending time listening to Evanescence's Bring Me to Life, which is a great song! I managed to shock Mich by having Usher and Rihanna on my playlist since according to her, a few years ago I would have "booted others out of the car for playing that," but my Eminem revelation was something she hadn't known.

Mich & I on stage singing I Will Survive

My fascination with Eminem was prompted by Chris O, who is also responsible for introducing me to what one friend called, "the greatest invention ever," the dueling piano bar. In 2000, Chris got us a front row table at Pat O'Briens which is an awesome venue and I have been hooked ever since and have managed to drag a few friends into the mayhem. So it is fitting that my next playlist is the dueling piano bar request list.

Songs that are my regular requests when at a dueling piano bar:
- Violent Femmes Blister in the Sun
- Green Day Longview
- Dexy's Midnight Runners Come on Eileen
- Def Leppard Pour Some Sugar on Me
- Gloria Gaynor I Will Survive
- Kid Rock All Summer Long 

I have been informed that the top four on my list are very sexual in nature and the first two focus on masturbation. So it's not surprising that I have been known to also sing along with such similar songs as:

Crystal, Mich, & I singing Sweet Caroline

- AC/DC You Shook Me All Night Long
- Divinyls I Touch Myself
- Jimmy Buffett Why Don't We Get Drunk

 
Now this is not to say these are the songs that put me in the mood because I do have a sexual playlist which prominently features one band, Dave Matthews Band. There is something about the soulful rhythm of the music, the pulsing beat, and the raw emotion as Dave Matthews espouses erotic lyrics that made this young woman's heart race and still does.

Erin & I at HATM-Chicago for my 35th

Songs by Dave Matthews Band that still get to me are:

- Crush
"Lovely lady, let me drink you please. I won't spill a drop I promise you. Lying under this spell you cast on me. Each moment, the more I love you."

- Say Goodbye
"And in your eyes I see what's on my mind. You've got me wild turned around inside and then desire, see, is creeping up heavy inside here."

- Crash Into Me
"And I come into you. Hike up your skirt a little more and show the world to me...I watch you there through the window and I stare at you. You wear nothing but you wear it so well, tied up and twisted the way I'd like to be."

- Two Step (the entire song is worth a listen)
"Say, my love, I came to you with best intentions. You laid down and gave to me just what I'm seeking. Love, you drive me to distraction ... Hey, my love, you came to me like wine comes to this mouth, grown tired of water all the time. You quench my heart and you quench my mind."

Do you have any special requests at bars or any songs that bring on a sexual feeling?

Learning to Relax

I am determined to find time with friends, even if it's a brief amount of time, so within the first five minutes of my vacay, I met up with Becky, Erin, Delia, and Peggy for Rock the Plaza. The gals and I have repeatedly planned to see Cougar Hunter but circumstances have always prevented it. I believe it was fate that the first time we saw the band, we were joined by Peggy and Delia (i.e. the guitarist, Ripp's, mother and former babysitter). Earlier in the day, Delia had commented on Ripp's tattoos and piercings which is a stark contrast to his elegant mother but she also declared that he was a wonderful son. I enjoyed the band and the range of artists they covered along with their showmanship, but what truly struck me was the very apparent love and respect between mother and son. There were many inside jokes and exchanges during the performance and the immediate hug and conversation behind the bandshell which was touching to see. 

So Mich, this is for you. This was the band we had planned to see when you last visited. So I couldn't resist requesting a pic with Ripp, who is the guitarist and keyboardist. It's hard to tell but he was wearing spandex and had numerous tattoos and piercings. I know how disappointed you must be to have missed this. Seriously, entertaining!

Dancing Queens

Another GNO adventure this weekend! If you live in the Fort and have never seen Good Night Gracie perform, then you are truly missing out on one of the town's best entertainments. It has been a while since the gals and I went dancing and we definitely need to plan more nights like this.

You would think after all these years that we would not be surprised by the others' reactions to things, yet without fail, we surprise each other. I blame Becky for my more recent interest in pop/dance music, which of course led to some fun moments on the dance floor. Once again, thanks to Flo Rida's Low, I proved I can still do the sexy drop to the ground and sway back up while wearing heels. During one of the band's breaks, Becky dragged us to the empty dance floor for some Beastie Boys and apparently Erin likes JT's Sexy Back which has recently been on my playlist. Who knew? And speaking of lists, GNG played back-to-back Come on Eileen, Blister in the Sun, and I Want You to Want Me, which is part of another playlist. It was like they were channeling perfection. The most startling moment was when GNG played Pink's So-What. While singing along, it makes one feel a bit feisty. Imagine my surprise when Becky began to sing along matching my exuberance. We completely shocked and entertained Erin with that one.

It was an enjoyable evening though there were some awkward moments. Such as the man who decided that he would be the meat between an Erin and Melissa sandwich which got old quickly. Then there was the hilarious moment when Becky received a lap dance. And as we sat in the foyer saying goodbye to Erin, two men approached us to ... flirt, I think, but it was a strange disastrous affair.

The problem is one of the men, Franz, decided I was his target for the evening. He later approached me on the dance floor and asked if I was Amy. He didn't know why I was laughing but it's an inside joke. After rejecting him and sending him away, he decided to approach me again towards the end of the night. Franz made his way over to inquire if I wanted to dance (no); inform me that he wasn't a good dancer but we should try (no); plead with me to give him a shot (no); and finally that he would wander away with his tail between his legs (ok). Yet he remained standing next to me, not leaving. Becky grabbed my hand and pointed at the ring. He apologized repeatedly before finally leaving our space. I know, men behaving badly has become the norm when we go out so I should expect it, but the whole situation makes me uncomfortable. I asked Becky if I put out a vibe, but she claims that's not the reason.

Either way, I had a blast with the gals minus the creepy men. It is unacceptable that we have allowed life to prevent us from more nights like this. It's a good thing we have plans for June when Mich visits and August though I seriously think we should plan a blowout birthday weekend to compensate for missing out on our time together. But the best part of the evening besides being with my gals was when we got carded!

Geeked Out

I have a great love affair with music. Songs tell the story of my life, whether with the lyrics or being a trigger for memories of loved ones, friends, and significant moments in my life. The thing that I desperately miss from Tampa is listening to my favorite station 97X and hearing new music from the Green Room. I miss it so much that Michelle makes me radio mixes for my birthday. While visiting Florida a few weeks ago, Michelle was excited by the announcement that 97X was changing its format.

Now, hubby gets rather nervous when I hang out with Michelle. This has nothing to do with some of our wild behavior and has everything to do with my tech envy. Michelle seems to get all the new gadgets and every time we hang out, I end up buying a new toy. Recall the smartphone envy which led to my HTC, then the NCAA team app, and of course the streaming Netflix via a Blu-Ray player, or the conversations about the Google Nexus which became my gift to myself. All of these are thanks to Michelle and my envy.

Hubby has shown great restraint in not ridiculing our latest endeavor. 97X released its new format where listeners use an app to choose the music from the station's collection and vote to determine the next song to be played, record an on-air message, and listen. Sadly, it can become addictive but now Mich and I can listen to songs together.

Girls Night

Becky, Erin, and I went to the Museum of Art for College Night this past weekend. Yes, College Night, where the average age was mid-30s, though there were several members of the ten and younger crowd dancing in front of the stage. We went in support of Erin's sister's band, who was one of two acts performing at the museum. It was a fabulous night beginning with dinner at Henry's, though we had the world's worst waitress. When even kind Becky is leaving you a barely-there tip, you know it's bad service. I'm not a fan of art, except for glassworks and photography, and there wasn't much of that at the museum, but I was the good friend wandering around, looking at the exhibits, considering Erin's an artist and determined to get me to like art. Of course, we people watched and caught eyefuls of interesting outfits, while listening to the opening act, who looked rather young to our group. The band we had gone to see were amazing as always and we hob-knobbed with assembled acquaintances and Erin's family. We ended the evening early, hey, this was a kiddie's show at the museum, by visiting the downtown Starbucks for a nightcap and more chatter. All around a great night with the gals!

Becky's Congratulatory Weekend

Before I was graced with this horrible flu, the gals and I had a fabulous weekend celebrating Becky's achievements. Becky was the head of a committee for our library's Staff Day. She did a phenomenal job.


We went to Cork & Cleaver for dinner. I love their menu.


This is the table we will request from now on. The fireplace was very nice and cozy.


As part of our celebration, we went to see our favorite local band perform.


The band likes to take photos of the crowd, so I borrowed this from their page. Can you locate us in the singing crowd?


They know how to work the crowd.


Michelle, this one is for you.

Night with the Gals

The gals and I spent the evening enjoying sundaes (they were huge) and attending a concert with one of our favorite bands. The evening was quite entertaining considering our love of the band and music. Once again we received a shout out from the band. Actually, it was three times, which being girly fans pleased us to no end. Another memorable moment form the evening was winning a bet among some gentleman concerning the UNC vs. LSU game. All I can say is please do not bet against a girl who knows her SEC teams. And just for you Mich, here's a pic of Troy, who was kind enough to chat with me about my pal in Florida who crushed on him.

Music Scene

In my 30 something years of living in Florida, I rarely checked out the music scene. It never really held any appeal for me to see local bands perform when I could go to big concerts. I had no idea of what I was missing. Since moving to Indiana, I have met numerous people who are involved in bands and have felt a want to show my support by attending some of their performances. In the past month alone, I have seen four local groups perform and I have to say I am enjoying the Fort music scene. This weekend, I attended my first Rock the Plaza to watch Erik's band, The Rockefeller Four, play. Though I knew none of the lyrics, I did enjoy the beat. I felt like a groupie when they did a shout out to all the librarians in the crowd. Figures! The gals and I are planning a return visit to listen to Tested on Animals over Labor Day weekend. Let us know if you are interested in going with us. Another group I would love to see again is the End Times Spasm Band. And yes, I am already pleading for dance partners when attending their performance.