Warning: This is a rambling post.
Hubby routinely jokes that I am middle-aged, which is rather interesting since he is my older yet younger looking husband. This year, he crossed into the forty age bracket and it has played a lot with his mind. Though he won't admit it, I believe part of the mental issue for him involves his mom's early death. And now hubby's response to many things is I'm too old for that, so this New Year's for the first time since moving to Indiana, hubby and I stayed in. We used to stay home when we were younger, but it had become a routine to go somewhere since moving.
Since being diagnosed as a narcoleptic, I've been trying to find the right balance in my life and believe I have discovered it thanks to my meds and new sleep pattern. The dilemma is the new sleep pattern requires I go to bed pretty early compared to my previous late night excursions. No more bar hopping for me, unless it is planned in advance with recovery time. And this past week, my boss was discussing our health insurance issue when he mentioned good blood and bad blood involving health. I was not in the good blood category. Then a comment was made about the body falling apart once you reach 35-37 years old, which another colleague had made a similar comment a few months back. I have to admit, I did not like this discussion.
Plus I've been hard core at organizing my genealogy records and have recently gone through death certificates. Though hubby believes he is encroaching his end times, I look at these records and think, I have plenty of time. Though both sides of my mom's family have heart disease and yes, those death certificates confirm it, and my own health issues; I am positive my genes are from my dad's side. My great grandfather died roughly six weeks shy of his 101st birthday, while one of my ancestors was 95 on an 1850 census. 95 in 1850 requires some good genes considering the man fought in the Revolution.
So this morning, I was driving in, listening to Godsmack, which I had cranked up and was singing along at the top of my lungs. This reminded me of the time I saw them perform at Guavaween (think Mardis Gras, but in one night), mosh pit and all. And the realization hit, I am not that girl anymore. Mich had recently informed my twelve year old niece who scoffed at the idea of me dancing that I could still drop down to the ground when dancing at a club. This made me think, though my body physically is capable, when is it inappropriate age-wise to dance like that?
I have my bucket list of things I plan to accomplish, so don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm old, but I think I may be too old for certain behaviors. And so what that I have to go to bed early and it curtails some of my extracurricular activities. The same would happen if I had kids. So it's all a mind game, one I will beat.
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4 comments:
Age is a mindset! Until we're 90. Then we'll talk about the dance moves.
Erin
I agree with Erin - you are as young as you want to be regardless of your numerical age. And I think you should continue to dance all the way to the floor for as long as your body is capable of it. God knows I cant do it anymore! LOL
<3
Mich
Aging. Don't like it. I was ok with it until I hit 49, then I realized that I had lived 49 years and probably was good for another 20 or 30...which means I was on the down side at 49. And, Erin, you young thing you...my mind is still young (getting younger by the minute.) However, sorry to say, my body isn't.
You know your getting old when the music in the grocery store is the Rolling Stones instead of Frank Sinatra. You all know who Frank Sinatra was...don't you?
You and hubby both look great but you look younger than J. That is not to say he looks his age because he doesn't--you just look younger.
Becky
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