Here's the Answer

I have been quiet recently about my health issues, since I have been utterly confused. Over a month ago, I had a procedure done that was a possible temporary fix for my problem. Unfortunately, from the first moment of insertion, my fix was a problem. I was in pain daily (think mild birthing pains) and felt pretty miserable all the time, plus the initial symptoms did not go away. Several very concerned friends recently ranted, I mean, made it clear to me that I shouldn't suffer in pain and needed to admit the procedure did not work. (You know I love you guys for caring so much, and yes there was more than one person a day telling me to go back to the doctor.)

Last week, I had the "fix" removed and had a long discussion with my doctor. There are no further options available to me. Yes, I will have the dreaded operation, which will lay me up for a bit. Yes, it means I will not have children in the future, unless I decide to adopt. Yes, it means I will no longer suffer from multiple symptoms.

Do I feel okay with this outcome? Shockingly, yes, I am very resolved in my feelings. The past month, I had been so miserable and suffered so much, that I know the path I'm currently on is the one for me. My body has rejected every treatment we have tried and the last one was too much for me physically, mentally, and emotionally. The surgery is scheduled for after I return from Salt Lake, so I have time to fret over having surgery. I thank all my well-meaning caring friends who voiced their concerns to me. I was afraid to get to this point and needed your understanding and support that I was making the right decision, which you all gladly gave.

Entertaining Emotional Baggage

Don't you hate it when your personal baggage affects your entertainment. I have recently discovered this is becoming a more common occurrence for me. I remember going to see the movie, What Lies Beneath with Harrison Ford. To this day, I can never look at him the same. His character was so evil in the movie and reminded me of behavioral patterns of an ex that I was upset after the movie. Now I equate him with that character.

Last month for GNO, we went to see He's Just Not That Into You. There is a character who cheats and then proceeds to deny wanting a divorce. I know my friends were a little concerned at my reaction because I was fuming. It brought up a lot of emotional baggage. I know at one point, I did call one of the characters a whore because I was so angered. I know good entertainment is supposed to elicit reactions from the audience, but this really bothered me.

It came up again this past week. I have been reading the Sookie Stackhouse books. I was halfway through one of the books, when I asked a friend if I could just skip the book and go to the next in the series. I knew the questionable hero was going to cheat on the heroine, once again causing me emotional turmoil. Then reading through her confused emotions made me remember my own feelings in similar scenarios.

Go ahead, tell me I need help! These situations portrayed in my entertainment distress me and do not entertain. I have to admire that the people either writing or acting draw me in, so I am upset for the characters. At the same time, I hate facing my own personal problems when seeking an escape from the everyday.

What do you think? Is it good entertainment or poor taste? Please don't comment on my emotional health. If you know me at all, I have no love for cheaters. I'm just bothered by the fact cheaters has been in some of my recent entertainment choices. (And for those who would actually ask, no, my hubby is not that type.)