Balance

In the past six months my life has become very focused and driven towards one goal though many options remain available. I have chosen to ignore everything except my research, which has led to me being out of balance. I love socializing with my friends, knitting, and writing, yet these aspects of my life are limited or non-existent at this time. I have been very focused on my career lately and with that in mind, my research projects have consumed my minimal free time. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying my research and find it fascinating. But I feel compelled to work on it because with each reveal, I discover a new example I can use in a lecture or someday write about the discovery process.

Every evening and weekend, I promise myself that I will spend a bit of time on my writing or just relax and watch t.v. for the night, but it never happens. I'm still coordinating the writing group, but have not even touched my own writing in months. I had written down a goal of two hours of writing during my three day weekend. It never came to fruition though I did find several documents that will help my UDC application instead.

I have been desperately seeking a balance in my life so I can enjoy all my interests, but can't seem to shake this compulsion. This weekend was filled with several shocks and I rolled with the punches until last night. Suddenly, all the emotions I had been tamping down, emotions that I vent in my writing, came to the surface because they've had no outlet. Maybe this will be my motivator to balance things out, to learn how to juggle all the interests rather than giving myself over to one. Hopefully, I'll find my muse again and discover myself along the way because there is more than one aspiration for my life.