Love My Gals

Day 3, Tuesday

9:00 am - 12:00 pm Though I went to bed late and should have slept-in longer, I was excited about my lunch date. My morning slipped away quickly while I completed paperwork for a Dr.'s appointment and played in the snow with Bartle. I love watching him dive in and hide so that his eyes and nose are the only things that distinguish him from the snow.

12:00 pm - 1:15 pm While waiting for the gals, I watched SportsCenter and listened to the people at the next table who were discussing the Florida vs. FGCU match-up. I admit that I am not a Billy Donovan fan. Just as I will forever be a Spurrier fan due to a personal interaction, the opposite can be said of Donovan. My lunch with Becky and Erin was way too short but definitely needed. I wish we had more time together.

When driving to Dr. S's office, I'm usually coming from the opposite direction but was positive that I could navigate the one way streets towards Lake Ave. Of course, I'm directionally challenged and should have known better. I went the wrong direction and went too far northeast and had to use the GPS to make my way back.

1:15 pm - 3:00 pm Dr. S is my specialist and the one I credit with saving me by listening and properly diagnosing me. On this visit, he addressed all of my concerns but I felt he didn't listen and I was very frustrated by the time I left. He asked very targeted questions, but was a bit biased in his views to my statements and concerns. He is working with my insurance company to get me on a new treatment, one that requires me to be closely monitored by a pharmacist and a neurologist who specializes in this medication. Several people in my support group have tried this treatment so I'm aware of the positives and pitfalls and have many legitimate concerns. I've agreed to meet with the neurologist in order to discuss my options. Mich reminded me later that I am a unique snowflake so I may not have the same issues as other people. Love ya, Mich!

My frustration with the doc stemmed from his continuous disregard of my chest pressure and pains, the denial that my insomnia symptoms were stemming from too much stimulant and adrenaline kicks, and the remark that my energy flux is caused by me not properly handling my stress. He recommended a psychiatrist, which made my head explode. I wholeheartedly believe in therapy and have seen a variety of professionals over the past twenty years but that doesn't answer my question: when working a variety of shifts and having physically draining days or low productive days, how can I balance the conditions and better deal with this roller coaster of energy I appear to be on? Controlling stress is not the final answer.

3:00 pm - 4:30 pm Recently, Amy joked that I am high maintenance since I had to check my luggage because my beauty products did not fit in a quart-sized bag when I flew to SLC. After my disturbing appointment with the doc, I deserved some pampering and it's Clinique Bonus Time. Please tell me that other women have multiple make-up color options based on how they feel on that particular day.

I felt fine while running errands, but then the frustration hit me when I stopped at Walgreens. Sometimes the frustration explodes like a cork and I start crying. Thankfully, Mich answered the phone and listened as I sat in the parking lot and vented my anger, fear, and exhaustion at the idea of convincing another doctor that I truly know my body and mind, especially the doctor who had finally given me proof that I had a legitimate condition.

4:30 pm - 12:00 am Upon returning home, Bartle and I played in the yard which was now a mud pile. There is nothing more fun than cleaning a muddy white puffball (haha). I decided to push myself and worked out for more than 90 minutes. Adrenaline kicked in making it difficult to sleep, leading to another long night and some truly sore muscles. On the positive side, I had some hot dates during the late hours as I caught up on my guilty pleasures, i.e. t.v. shows.