Alpha Male

While watching one of my guilty pleasures recently, my viewing partner remarked halfway through the episode, "you like the blond one." I was quite surprised by this accurate assessment, especially given the fact that I'm not typically attracted to blonds. My fellow viewer quipped that the blond was the villain, i.e. the bad boy.

We may not want to admit it but all of us have a type. That certain personality or physical trait that we find inexplicably attractive. We're drawn to the person or the type though rationally we know that the person or quality is not good for us. My type is the bad boy and it has become something of a running joke among my friends. I know he's bad for me yet I am continuously drawn to this type. I navigated my dating years by rationalizing through the appeal and focusing on all the drawbacks if involved in this person's life. Being a married woman, I currently find myself spending time with fictional bad boys instead, via tv, movies, and books, as a way to fulfill this fantasy.

I truly enjoy the bad boy, not because I want to change him or be the special someone who understands him, but because of the alpha male syndrome. I have several characteristics that are usually labeled as male traits such as I'm a fixer, I can shrug off emotion and analyze things based on fact, and I have a strong dominant personality. I will never be one of those women who asks someone else to make a decision or fix something for me. I am too self-reliant for it. And while I lust for an alpha, I could never be in a relationship with one due to certain weaknesses of mine. But knowing all of this, doesn't stop me from being drawn to him still.

And though the idea of letting a man make decisions for me is abhorrent, there are those times that I desire someone to swoop in and just take over so I can have a break. This is why bad boys are so appealing. They are a force of nature, dominant, appearing self-assured, and ready to take on the world without indecision. They are men of swift action and damn the repercussions which appeals rather than men who are indecisive, waver, or wait for someone else to make a decision. Alpha males fulfill some longing for care and protection since they don't waver in their decisions and appear capable of handling most situations.

The thought of this type of behavior appeals yet I know it would become quickly tiresome. Instead, I'll just enjoy the alpha male in my fiction rather than reality.