For those who didn't get the memo, I have been a walking zombie the past few weeks as I waded through a severe sinus infection. Keeping my fingers crossed, but I might finally be on the road to recovery ... or another relapse is waiting around the corner. Other people who have been similarly afflicted claim it took two weeks to start to feel human. I'm on day fifteen and it's my first human-like day. While I was suffering through this crud, some people decided it was a good time to throw a few zingers at me. I'm assuming that a hacking woman with a whispered voice was viewed as not threatening, which isn't true.
Recently, a friend called me high-maintenance and I shrugged it off. I actually found myself jokingly using the term as well, until another individual decided it was an apt description for me. Then my hackles went up. I despised this descriptor for years and have insisted my gals not date anyone who uses this term. For me, a woman who values herself highly and expects the same from others or who expects an equal give-and-take in relationships is not high maintenance, but rather maintains a healthy level of self respect. I loved when Delia heard that someone labeled me high-maintenance, she laughed at the ridiculousness of it.
Another word that riles me is bitch. I may comment that I'm being bitchy or acting like a bitch, but don't ever call me that name. Any person who says it is not a friend.
And the trigger for this week was being informed that I was an extreme type-A personality. Don't get me wrong, I am completely type-A, but this person was using it as a negative aspect of my personality. They claimed I could never be a calming influence because of my personality. I'm sure Becky, Erin, and Mich would whole-heartily disagree that I'm incapable of calming someone since they have each been the recipient of my soothing nature and have witnessed the depths of my patience. And so what that I'm type-A? Sorry to inform the world, but we're the ones who are leaders and can make the hard decisions when other people can't.
So there you have it! The three most recent descriptors that have triggered my frustration. What annoys me the most about these situations is why someone thought it was acceptable to make the remarks in the first place. Care to share your triggers?
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4 comments:
Me, too! You've calmed me lots of times! I hate the term high-maintenance because it implies that one is so self centered that one must be the center of all attention and everyone else's cooperation to make one happy. My trigger: condescension.
I'm with you on the condescension. I do not see anything wrong with being self-centered or selfish. You have to be very aware of your "self" and be happy with that "self" to be a person. It's just when the arrogance wanders in that there may be a problem.
There is another way I interpret high maintenance. Not that I'm saying you're this way, but I could see someone calling me high maintenance in that I order food at restaurants with 'no cheese' and 'add green beans' and 'does it have to come with the sauce on it?' Or some women are high maintenance if they refuse to leave the house without a full face of makeup and coiffed hair and high heel shoes. I think it's another way of saying you're picky. Well, yeah - I know what I want and how I want it! :)
My definition of high-maintenance - and I do use that term about some people - is overly-critical, never satisfied and completely inflexible, unwilling to bend with the circumstances, instead must be a drama queen and if everything isn't just perfect, then the world is ending. I would not call you high maintenance, but I have known people who are. These people also are just a lot of work for everyone around them.
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