Mom & Dad's Visit

Mom & Dad

Mom and dad visited this past weekend. Every time I see my parents, it is an emotional experience for me. Part of the emotion stems from regretting the missing time with my mom. The other part of it is my continued anxiety over my mom's health. Then there is the relationship between me and my dad. We have a good relationship now but for many years, we were completely at odds. When I'm with both of them, the dynamic is very intriguing. My mom and I can discuss any topic and our conversations are detailed and very emotional. There is no hesitation in our displays or expressions of affection. On the other hand, my dad and I are very business-like and non-emotional. I can list the times my father has expressed his love for me. The last time I said the words was when my mother-in-law was dying and I wanted my dad to know how I felt. The uncomfortable silence before he reciprocated made it the last time. I know he loves me but it's difficult for him to express his feelings.

Find the cat & dog during the game

The visit was nice, with mom and I looking over family photos and making meals together. Growing up, my sis and mom cooked so I never had that joy making these moments extremely important to me. Dad and I spent a good amount of time watching college football, baseball, and episodes of HIMYM. Dad likes a good argument and we had one concerning FSU's ridiculously high ranking and who was the better conference, the SEC or ACC. It did not help my argument that several of the ranked SEC teams lost their games. Then my dad watched the Red Sox vs. Tigers baseball game. I honestly have no personal interest in baseball but dad was appalled when I cheered for Detroit. Phrases such as "you've gone to the dark side cheering for these MI teams," or "I don't know about you anymore," were uttered until he finally asked, "how can you cheer for Detroit?" I explained that I do it to be supportive of a friend but also because though I don't know anything about baseball, according to Mich, you never cheer for the Red Sox unless they are playing the Yankees, who you never cheer. Dad insisted that Mich had to cheer for Boston, which led to several texts where I proved that I know my girl. Dad and hubby enjoyed some camaraderie over me and Mich being haters. (Pot meet kettle.)

Mom & I researching

There were several deep discussions concerning the various family situations that my parents have encountered on this road trip. Then we spent 90 minutes via speaker phone with my uncle discussing our family research. It felt like being at work, explaining how to analyze documents and the best search methodologies. My mom has offered my "free" research services to two family members and a family friend.

I had been nervous discussing my reticence to visit the family in FL because I was unsure if I could interact with my sister without displaying my hurt feelings. I felt better when at the end of the trip, mom offered to visit whenever I wanted. This allows me alone time with her without a confrontation with my sister. My point was proven when I had a fun conversation with my brother who is thinking about visiting. Mom never expected my brother and I to renew our relationship but he's been clean for several years now which is all I ever wanted of him. My parents' visit was a welcome respite during what has been a chaotic month.