The Wedding Video

James and I watched our wedding video for first time this weekend. There is something about watching yourself on screen that is rather uncomfortable which is why it took us decade before we could do it. Honestly though, it was fun to watch and reminisce. We both had forgotten all of the things that had gone wrong that day. James likes to bring out the photograph of angry Melissa, which shows my reaction when we were told the wedding cake was missing. He apparently was not aware of the multiple issues that I had dealt with in the hours leading up to the wedding. He finally witnessed the continued interruptions and my father's assessment of the Chinese fire drill that was taking place downstairs as I tried to get dressed. He also got to be a witness to the hilarity that was me getting dressed. The layers of crinoline that poofed out my dress was flat causing my dress to fall and made it impossible for me to walk without stepping on the hem. It took several bottles of hairspray to stiffen the material enough to last the ceremony.

Following some humorous and touching moments during the wedding ceremony, the video transitioned to the first dances. James wanted to fast-forward through these because we couldn't hear what was being said but instead we watched the dances and were shocked at how we could interpret certain moments. During our first dance, the camaraderie that James always remarks on was very apparent. James and I conversed until he said something incredibly hilarious which was obvious when I threw my head back and laughed. My brother and I danced together several times, once was a swing routine and another was a slow dance. It was interesting to watch because we were laughing and joking with each other. I had forgotten how close we were, which was evident in the video. Unfortunately, this was about the time my brother began to habitually use drugs so it was weird to see me interacting with my baby brother. It looked like I was picking on his facial hair and it was like discovering an old friend and suddenly missing them. I had actually forgotten how sweet and welcoming Craig's best man toast was, which is interesting since half the time I think he doesn't know what to think of me.

While watching the toasts, James asked if my dad had been okay with us getting married. He remarked that my dad's toast was essentially a combination of my siblings' toast. James said that when he asked my dad for permission to marry, my dad responded that I was an adult and could make my own decisions. I reminded James that my dad had some severe reservations about our marriage since we had not known each other for very long. James asked if my dad still had reservations about our marriage. I couldn't help but laugh as I reassured him that my dad was accepting of us.

The video also reunited us with other old friends. On camera, my face lit up when I spotted my friend, John. The video ended with John and I raucously dancing while laughing together. I thought it was a fitting picture of us. It makes me sad to realize that he's been gone for more than five years. It's hard to know the man who had such an amazing influence on my life and me, on who I became, is not here to see me happy with James. Some people may recall that when James met John, I told James that if John did not like him, that our relationship was over. Because I couldn't be with someone that John did not approve of as he had been my saving grace during the worst time in my life. Who knew that the two of them would hit it off so well.

When James' mom, Patricia, stood to give her toast, I teared up. James remarked that her voice sounded different in his memories. I wish he had more to remember her by. Once again another amazing influential person in our lives who we miss greatly. I hope she would be proud of what we've accomplished and our commitment to our marriage.

So the video was bittersweet and joyful with all its laughter and happiness. It was a picture in time of a life we don't recognize and of loved ones missed. Because I have to admit I didn't recognize the bride, who received one toast after another stating, "it's been a long time since I've seen her this happy." That woman has not existed for a long time as James has given me a decade of happiness.