Becky and I had an extremely emotional conversation today. It was a long time coming, shockingly cathartic, and filled with more startling revelations. I couldn't believe something she revealed concerning what I have felt has been a break in our friendship. Don't get me wrong, we've remained friends but we (Becky, Erin, and I) disagreed over something very important to me so the topic has been off-limits until today. It's amazing what a difference one word can make and in this situation, it really was one word that healed the wound. Of course, now I'll have to repeat this same conversation with Erin but if it ends with the same promise of love and friendship, then I can do it.
And to clarify something I've said recently to some people that Becky called me on. I am not giving up. The future is wide open. I just now have a higher standard to reach, one that I've had to admit may not be attainable, but I'm not giving up the hope of someday. I just refuse to ever settle, even if I fail to reach the higher standard, settling is not the answer either.
I'm glad we've managed to get over this issue because the next few days will be rough and my gals will get me through. My emotions have been on a roller coaster ride this week with some extreme highs and lows but I know I'm making the right decisions so I'll stay on course.
I received back-to-back emails tonight that triggered some strong emotions then I returned home to a difficult task that needed to be done. Tomorrow is an appointment with someone who will make a critical financial decision for me, then allergy shot, and work. It's a long day after such an emotionally draining one. But there is a reprieve. The gals and I may checkout a new band this weekend which I may desperately need once I get through these next few days.
Once again, thanks to my loved ones who have been so amazingly wonderful and supportive. And for my utterly confused friends, I just keep asking for your patience.
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